When the past comes ahaunting
by Trice
Summary: COMPLETE! Dr. Brandis, Gentech employee with a mysterious past, is on the run. To whom can she turn? What is she running from? M/L, virus cure coming up soon.
1. Default Chapter

AN: This is actually my first piece of fiction ever. It's been sleeping on my hard drive for some time. It takes place after the first episode of season 2, M/L, but it's supposed to be more action than romance. I'm still writing on the unfinished story but since that one is still dark for a few more chapters, I thought you could use something not so sad. It's my first and it's completed, but for some reason i have the impression that it's better than the rest, maybe because i was on vacation when i wrote it and devoted a lot more time to it. 

They don't belong to me - that should be clear by now - *I would never do such a thing as cancelling the one show on air that was full of hidden truths and symbolism and lent itself to intelligent comments. But I love them all, so what can I do? It's not like TPTB miss any of them right now. I'll return them in the morning, unless Logan Cale, "protector of all that is good and true", advocates larceny and lets me keep the whole shebang or, who knows, even calls the store and has "them" charge everything to him.

www.savedarkangel.net

AN2: If things seem confusing, especially referrals to Natalie's past, please let me know and I'll explain. It's kind of mysterious for a while, but I have a good reason for that. Enjoy.

****

When the past comes ahaunting

Part One: Trouble is brewing

Hunger. Pain. Hunger. Blood. Thirst, his mind sung to him from the deep recesses it had retreated itself to for so many years. There was only one thing that drove the battered, weak body forward into the dark woods, toward the city in the valley and there it was again, to his left. Now! He leapt forward. The sound of blood thumping in his ears slowly faded and then vanished completely. Everything so quiet! He rose from the damp cover of autumn leaves, disregarding the mess around him. His mind had stopped singing for a moment, letting him feel the elation of success. Still, something was amiss. All so quiet! The elation was gone and now there was only emptiness in him, around him, in his mind, all over him, darkness enveloping him coldly, steadily, an icy fortress he felt he needed to blast away. His scream of rage rose like a thunder over the trees, in answer to the darkness, emptiness and quiet in him, was carried by the wind to the mountain tops, came back to him as an echo and for a moment his heart rose in victory. But the scream ebbed away, just like the thumping in his ears had and now there was silence again, all quiet, except for the faint howl of a lonely creature in the woods over Seattle.

***

As Angela could tell with her eyes closed by now - the good doctor was pissed. In such cases she always seemed to radiate an aura of strength and determination that made everybody back away for fear of crossing her. What could it be this time? More than likely, it wasn't a person. The few friends in the doctor's life were rather of the amiable type as far as the nurse could tell. Must be that that DNA resequencing she had been working on for the last 3 months had failed again for reasons that were beyond comprehension at the moment. 

Dr. Natalie Brandis sighed. Sleepless nights had become as common in the Henderson Clinic labs as in the old times in Toronto. 

But then, she was doing it for a good cause. Oh, if only she were in Canada, then all this would be just a bad dream. And then the nightmares she was having lately, the pain of thinking back about Toronto.... She had woken up screaming, drenched in cold sweat. She had seen a face, contorted, eyes yellow, any sign of reason gone. Then, they had become a feral, hellish red, radiating an almost palpable heat; even anger and she had woken up. "Don't go there, Gal, you left that all behind a long time ago." Shuddering, she tried to brush the experience away, concentrating on the task at hand when her assistant's voice startled her out of her reverie.

"Dr. Brandis, do you need anything before I go tonight?"

"That's ok, Angela, I'm all set, thank you." But the other woman would not budge. "Hah, too much to ask for," Brandis cracked to herself. The young assistant had grown on her in the last six months they had been working together. She probably just wanted to be friends but then there was such a thing as too much of the good stuff. 

"Dr. Brandis, if I may be so bold, maybe it would help if you could work the dayshift? Since Dr. Bastian's promotion, the spot would be free." 

"Thank you, Angela, for your concern. It's just that I'm so used to working nights that it would do more harm than good to change it now." She sighed, suddenly aware of the strange look on Angela's face. "Don't worry, Kiddo," the older woman forced herself to smile, "I'll be okay." 

"Good night then, Doctor." 

"See you tomorrow, Angela."

After the younger woman had left, the doctor thought, "I'm finally alone!" The empty hallways or the artificial light that barely succeeded in banishing the darkness from her office didn't bother her. Alas, it was the ghosts of the past that it could not keep away. "Look at the bright side, Gal, it wasn't as if you were working in a morgue. Even back then, there had been no surprises," she chided herself before admitting, "Well, except for one, maybe, a long time ago." 

Working on the DNA seemed so hard now. If there had not been the work she probably would have been just some number in a coroner's list of Jane Does. No, don't think about coroners. Whatever had possessed her lately? 

For years, she had not thought of Toronto, and now, for the past two days, starting with that blasted nightmare, somehow every little detail had sent her mind spinning to those times, flashback by flashback, nightmare after nightmare. It seemed she could not think of much else except for her own personal house of horrors. "Maybe I'm getting old, that must be it. Actually, oh, yes, this was it; her 40th birthday** was coming up this week. Twelve years ago she had first met Nick. She should take that day off; it would not do to sit here tormenting herself over past events.**

Putting down her instruments she thought for a moment to call her old friend Sam Carr, he, with his charm and good spirits might just be the one to take her mind off the past and cheer her up. They hadn't seen each other in a while, but still, just maybe... The alternative was going home. Suddenly, the perspective of crashing down between her bed sheets became more appealing by the second. She needed to sleep this out. Besides, there was Zorro to feed. She chuckled slightly. Whatever had possessed her to give him that name? Well, his being black with a white mask -like spot around his eyes might have done the trick. Still, thinking about it now made her chuckle, "Gal, your subconscious has gone down the drains a long time ago, it's too late to start fixing it now." 

__

After exchanging small talk with the guards as she did every night, she finally got outside in the pouring rain. She needed to run to her car and the water drops were coming down so hard she could barely see anything. Why did she have to chose Seattle of all the darn American cities, why not sunny, warm Miami? Well, this was where she had finally come to herself after her bout of amnesia. Most of it had come back to her over the years, but not everything. And then, this was where most firms doing genetic research were located. It had been her only option - pathology had been out of the question - as masochistic as she might be she could not do that to herself. Not here, not alone, not after all that had happened. And, darn it, she had found it impossible to move to a sun-drenched city. Did hope really linger that deep down inside of her? "Gal, you should know better than that. The word hope should be stricken from your vocabulary," she lectured to herself. After the pulse, nothing in this country could have resurrected hope. 

For a moment she forgot her dreary thoughts to focus on getting to her small pre-pulse Ford without having to hang herself to dry afterwards. Her car was quite a run away; the road was dark and quiet except for the slight humming noise of a van at the other end of the street. Keys in hand, Natalie made a run for her car, water hitting her raincoat in rivulets and small streams. Screeching tires and the sound of a car revving up made her whirl around before reaching the street walk. But it was too late, a pair of strong hands had grabbed her from behind. The car keys flew in a large trajectory out of her grasp as she reached for the arms holding her neck, dragging her backwards. Panic overwhelmed her for barely a fraction of a second. She bit the hand that was bruising her jaw and tried to elbow her assailant. She had to make it, darn, or else she was history. A sudden instinct made her stop her struggles abruptly and propping her feet in the worn out pavement, she propelled her upper body forward sending the man behind her crashing over the parked cars. With the last ounce of strength left, she lounged forward and to the right, a few precious inches away from the van, heart pounding, frantic with fear. That small respite wouldn't have helped her much if there hadn't been the sound of a sector police hummer overhead. There was no time for the driver to go get her without been filmed by the security system. The other goon was still on the hood of a red truck, groaning as he managed to prop himself up on an elbow, only to see the van screeching away into the distance. Getting her bearings, she gave in to the rush of adrenaline and broke into a run away from the scene, along small winding alleys towards the old city center. She never looked back, just focused on keeping the pace, praying she would not bump into that van again. As long as there were still people at the South Market, and there would be people, for at least a couple hours more, she deemed herself safer there than home, at least until she could think of a place to crash.

As hard as she was trying, she could not identify her assailants for certain. The police would not be able to help her. They would say it had been just another mugging. This was nothing unusual, the dark streets of post-Pulse Seattle often witnessed such incidents, even outside the curfew period. They couldn't have been linked to the Community as she still called it. They had never bothered her before, why start now? Besides,** they just didn't operate that way. Life after the Pulse had become very easy for them, she imagined, with all that computerized data that hindered them from assuming new identities gone. Normal robbers wouldn't use this modus operandi either. **

No, this could only be a Gentech assignment. They had been trying for days to get her to accept the new job on her own volition. First it had been just a normal job offer addressed to her over normal channels. When she had asked around about Gentech, everybody had been terribly tight lipped and noncommittal. That reaction and the fact that the work involved living on the grounds of the Gentech lab camps, cut off from the world had made her wary. Something told her that this wasn't a job you could easily quit. Panting hard she stopped for just a moment to catch her breath and couldn't help but smirk, "Rusty and old you might be, Gal, and a lousy runner at that, but you can still pick a punch. Still, this is no time for rustiness,"** she admonished herself a few seconds later, "Just keep on the move, Gal, faster, faster." She could barely breathe anymore and she hadn't reached the well lit and heavily guarded South Market area yet. The urgency of the situation almost made her panic again. She hadn't escaped the Gentech goons just to be done in by some gang boy on a fun trip. So she kept moving, as hard and painful that might be.**

Since her refusal to accept the job, the threats had grown in intensity. Why was she so important for them? She had done good work and had achieved some international acclaim for her results with DNS recombination, but surely there were other more capable geneticists than her. She had come across some rather dirty things about Gentech during the last year, but she had no proof to back her up, just good, sound logic linking facts together and a few assumptions to complete the picture. 

****

Feverishly she searched for a solution to her predicament. Should she dare go home? No, it wasn't worth the risk. And Zorro was set with fresh food and water for at least another day. Afterwards her neighbor would check on him. To whom could she turn for help? Suddenly the sadness of it all bore heavily down on her. There were very few people she could trust. And none really knew the truth about her; none had a clue about Toronto. 

Actually there was one person she dared trust, since she had accidentally found out some secrets of his own. Sam, Sam Carr. They had met at Memorial Hospital where she had worked for a while just after the Pulse. At that time, she had still been with Gary, her ex-husband. She had gotten along well enough with Sam, each respecting and admiring the other for his work, but she had felt nothing more than that for him. Then, they had lost touch for a while, only to meet again by chance a few years ago, when Sam had needed answers on a mysterious genetic problem he was researching. Eventually she had found out Sam's secret, and she was glad she had done it. At least that way she had managed to regain some hope in the future of this world and feel useful again. She remembered the shock, the slight anger at his lack of trust and later the feeling of elation seeing the results of her research into Sam's problem broadcast by Eyes Only as part of the evidence in the indictment of Ronald Custer, scientist at Gentech. She had never approached Sam about it as she had finally understood the need for secrecy and he hadn't pursued the matter either, although he must have known that she had found out about his link to Eyes Only. That unspoken knowledge between them was proof of the trust they had in each other. Thinking of Sam had warmed her up a bit, but her fingers were still clammy and the feet, well, she had stopped feeling those many streets ago.

****

There, finally, she sighed and leaned shivering on a derelict house wall at the side of South Market. She had made it. What now? Before she even had time to relax and grasp the gravity of her predicament, realization hit her like a ton of bricks. To get to Sam's hospital she needed a sector pass. There was no way to contact Sam other than going to the hospital in person. She swore silently for the first time in years. Stealing a pass was a bad idea, what with all the guards around. The stress was starting to get to her, desperation and panic had finally caught up with her. Great, she didn't have a pass, not since quitting her job as a physician there. However, if she were to be injured... There was a risk in assuming somebody would actually care enough to get her to the hospital, but otherwise she was fresh out of options. Curiously, she was shocked how desperate that idea sounded to her. Two days ago, she wouldn't have been able to pull off such a crazy thing, but the perspective of being forced to work for the Gentech bastards or being killed gave her the necessary impetus. After all, each choice she had made in the last two days had somehow narrowed her way down to this one desperate measure. She might as well continue, there was no going back. Looking around the slowly thinning crowd on the badly lit South Market she saw a bus approaching the sector barrier. Without giving the matter much thought, for fear her self preservation instinct would get the better of her, she lunged forward, impacting with the bus on the driver's side. 

The sickening thud was heard all over the market. People stopped and turned around. Many just went on, urged by the sector police. A few faces however bent over the wet and mud caked female on the ground as if trying to determine if she was worth the trouble of dirtying a car while transporting her to the next hospital. It was the guilt-ridden bus driver who checked her for life signs and convinced the sector police to call an ambulance.

An: So? Patience, Max and Logan are coming in next. Problems? 


	2. Part Two

****

Part Two

Pain! Pain, so much of it that it made him roll over the pavement, hugging his knees tight. His mind had stopped singing to him. Now only the pain registered in his befuddled state. But the pain did not come from his limbs, oh no, he was certain of that. His limbs ached, yes, but this was pain! Sobs wrecked his body and all he could do was hug himself tightly and try to chase away the pain in his heart. And then he heard a voice in his head. It wasn't his mind speaking to him again as before. It wasn't the first time, either. But now she was helping him, helping him to drive away the cold, the emptiness, and the dark. Rapt, he listened to the voice that made the waves of pain go away. Yes, go away! Never come back! With the calm, soothing tone echoing in his ears, his muscles relaxed, he loosened his grip on his knees. No more quiet, no more emptiness! Yes, it was she. Now there were images of her, too, sunshine. Blinded, he closed his eyes before the image of sun in his head. Slowly, carefully he dared open them again, as the voice continued to coo to him. Not alone, not alone. Peace, yes. He drifted away in sleep, dreaming of a beautiful voice and of sunshine.

***

Max was pacing the dirty hospital floors, anxious for Logan to wake up. She had berated herself for the last 8 hours since they had brought him to the hospital. She should have known they wouldn't let her escape from Manticore so easily. She should have known something was amiss when they had injected her with an unscheduled substance. She should have... But she hadn't. All she could think of was Logan, how it would feel to be in his arms again, to escape the cold, military confines of her soul and delve in the warmth of his love, the love she had seen in his eyes while he was holding her in the woods around Manticore. His wonderful eyes. Eyes Only. A heavy sigh escaped her parched lips. She had imagined the scene so often, in so many different ways, with many different endings, but each time in her fantasy he had opened his arms to welcome her. Darn it, he had done it in real life, too. He had kissed her with a sweet, passionate kiss to wash away the pain and sorrow in her eyes. She had kissed him, too. A deadly kiss from a genetically engineered, armor plated fighting machine. Now he was fighting for his life. She swore, exhausted from the plight of escaping her childhood nightmare, Manticore, almost killing the one she loved, retrieving the antidote, freeing the tortured anomolies in the Manticore basement, returning to bring the antidote to Logan, blaming herself, worrying and pacing the floor with 10 miles an hour. 

"Don't forget the assorted fights, killings and maimings on your way, Soldier," a small cynical voice in her head whispered. You made record time, too. All in one short day's work."

Pressing her lips together to steel herself for what was coming she rushed towards Dr. Carr the moment she saw him. 

"He's ok, Max," he assured her. "He is still asleep, though." She couldn't help noticing Carr's tension as he went on. "You were right, the virus is lethal only for him. Otherwise it is dormant and not infectious for anyone else."

"How is it transmitted?"

"Through body fluids. Sweat, saliva etc. You might be able to touch him briefly but I wouldn't recommend it as it is hard to say how much contact would be deadly to him."

"You mean I can be in the same room, I can speak with him from a safe distance, but I can't touch him, is that it?"

"Yes, that about describes the situation." The compassion in his eyes was unmistakable. But after all, she thought icily, he did this all the time, talking to relatives, telling them he couldn't do anything. Her bitter feelings were probably showing, because Sam Carr cleared his voice and continued. 

"Look, Max, I haven't forgotten about the transfusion incident last year. I know you care for him. You couldn't have known." He reached out to her and for a moment, just for one moment, Max drew strength from the hand on her shoulder.

Then she regained her composure, becoming the efficient little soldier again, as Logan would put it, she thought bitterly. 

"What about the antidote, were you able to analyze it?"

His dejected look was answer enough. 

"That was the only existent dose," she muttered. And then, shaking off all the feelings, which were creating havoc with her concentration, she asked, "Isn't he sleeping too much?"

"He should be up in an hour, but you might want to give him a few more minutes though."

"And you are sure it is safe?"

"Yes, you can be together as long as you do not touch him."

Max groused, "That's a tough one, Girl, when all you can think of is holding him." Did Carr even realize the irony in his words? Probably, he had just left with an encouraging pat on her shoulder. As the doctor departed towards the hospital reception area, Max sunk to her haunches, leaning on the corridor wall, debating with herself. As much as she wanted to see Logan, to beg his forgiveness, she couldn't summon the strength to go in, to look into his eyes knowing what their situation was. She had to think. The urge of riding her bike through the night to the Space Needle, alone with her poisonous self became unbearable. 

The moment she gathered her strength to get up in spite of the pain in her limbs, she noticed a shadow furtively moving along the empty corridor towards her. Taking a better look in the dim hospital light, Max noticed the shadow belonged to a woman in a doctor's coat. There was nothing wrong with that, except that the woman looked quite battered and was limping, despite her efforts to move with a determined stride. Max decided to stay down and observe the figure that was checking out the names on the doors. The woman had stopped, as if uncertain of her next move and then suddenly she opened a door and entered the room. Logan's room, Max realized with a pang. A split second later, Max barged in and grabbed the woman from behind. In her haste Max dared a hurried look towards the still sleeping Logan, and quickly dragged the befuddled woman out and into Carr's office next door. 

Pushing the woman forward, Max closed the door and snapped at her, "What were you doing in Logan's room?"

For a moment the redhead struggled against Max's strong grip. Suddenly she kicked out, but that brought her instantly to the floor on her back with an angry Max glaring at her. 

"Nothing," the intruder managed to croak, "I…was just looking for Dr. Carr's office."

"That was not an office, lady, try again!"

The answer was just a whisper. "I...I needed a diversion, needed to get to Sam unnoticed." 

Max's grip on the woman loosened a bit at the mention of Sam, but her eyes were still trying to pierce the intruder, trying to determine her true purpose there. "My friend is nobody's diversion, lady!"

Max was trying to decide how much she could shake the woman without her falling apart as Sam came in. Looking at Max and at the woman, he gasped, "Dr. Brandis! Max, it's okay, I know her!"

"So, she is a doctor after all? That's good, 'cause she was messing around in Logan's room, and I was about to whack her really hard."

"Max, he's okay. I just checked on him."

"See? I told you, I just needed a diversion," Natalie spat at her. 

In spite of a rather gentle approach as Max would term it, the auburn haired lady seemed quite shaken. And since Sam knew her, she must be okay.

"Natalie?" he started hesitantly taking in her disheveled state and the smudges of dirt and blood on her face. "What happened to you? Are you all right?" He looked concerned at first at her, than at Max. 

"Natalie, this is Max, a friend of a friend. Max, meet Natalie, she is a geneticist." 

Max realized that he must have left out their full names on purpose.

Natalie made a move to extend her hand, but as the girl stayed put in the far corner of the room, eyeing her with distrust, she gave up on her attempt at being cordial.

"Sam, I appreciate this polite small talk, but I really don't have the time. I need to talk to you. Alone," she added with a sharp look at Max. 

But Max was already on her way out, determined to check on Logan before he woke up. 

"What a tough one," Max mused closing the door. "Must be twice as old as I am, but still, she put up a good fight. Isn't her fault I'm a genetically engineered warrior machine," she grinned sheepishly to herself and sneaked in to check on Logan. 

Carefully she pulled a chair next to his bed to look at him. She hadn't allowed herself many occasions to watch him in his sleep like this. Last time she had been alone with him in the hospital, she had found out for herself that he was more important to her than her own freedom, than anything. She had surprised herself that time. Since her escape from Manticore, she hadn't had the opportunity to really look at him. He seemed a bit haggard and worn out to her, the long hair unkempt, even for his standards, his brow furrowed in his sleep and the blond stubble looking harsher than usual. Careful not to touch his face or any other part of him for that matter, not even through the clothes, she looked at him with longing, yearning to wipe away the troubles mirrored in his face. 

Leave it to Renfro and Manticore to strip away all notions of normality and emotion she might have deluded herself with. She was about to lower her cheek to his when she realized the enormity of the consequences. Suddenly she bolted to the window turning her back on Logan. The pain and the longing overwhelming her, Max ran out of Logan's room just as tears had begun to spill down her cheeks, thinking desperately how even those were poison to him.

AN: I just discovered I might be repeating myself. But this is my first story and i'm not going to change it for just that reason. Let me know what you think of it up to now. 


	3. Part three

****

Part three

***

Peace! Stretching in his corner behind the dumpster he felt afraid for just a moment. Then he remembered the voice, the voice that had helped him overcome his loneliness, his pain. He couldn't hear it now. His mind had stopped singing to him like it had done before. But he remembered it. And there were images, more images and voices, not soothing ones like hers had been, disturbing ones, evil ones, cruel ones. They had left him for a while, had hidden deep inside him, but now that he was at peace, they were coming back. He welcomed them, good and bad. He had made peace with himself.

***

Behind the white hospital curtain, Logan opened his eyes and crumpled the sheets in his fists. For a moment it had seemed real, Max so close to him, so vibrant he could feel her without touching. And then she had bolted, but he couldn't blame her for it. He needed a cure for the virus and needed it soon or they would both go mad with desire. Or Max might decide she had enough and leave him with the pain he had felt in the three months she had been dead for all he had known. He had thought that all of his sorrow would have been consumed during that time along with all the pain and the suicidal thoughts. He had thought that there could be nothing worse. 

Remembering his reaction to Max' appearance in his penthouse and the look of longing on her face an unexplainable joy drove away all his self-pity. He smiled to himself. Yes, she was alive, that was all that counted. All the rest could be dealt with, as long as she was alive. There had to be a possibility for them to be together. There just had to be. Determination clenched Logan's jaw as he shook off the drowsiness and the aches in his body and set about to call Bling. Then, he should get up and talk to Dr. Carr before heading home to his huge rich, empty apartment. He couldn't count on Max being there, not after this -for her circumstances- open display of emotion.

***

Natalie had calmly described her plight to Sam. Only her hands in her lap might have betrayed the anxiety plaguing her. But Sam was too surprised to notice. He believed her. Not that she had doubted him for a moment. After all, they had known each other for a long time, and he knew what the guys from Gentech were capable of. But she hadn't even thought about his reaction to her bringing up the Eyes Only issue, the fact that she needed help beyond what Sam could probably offer her. 

So, she was relieved when he didn't try to deny anything and just said, "I'll talk to this informant I know, and he'll bring the story to Eyes Only. He might be able to help, but that is his decision, and it might take a while, he's been waging quite a little war on the gene manipulation lately. You haven't heard his broadcast today, have you?"

"Why, yes, Sam, that's what I've heard all day long," she quipped sarcastically.

"Well, I'll explain it to you in a minute, but first I need to check on a patient, I'll be right back." 

With that Natalie was left alone as Sam rushed out the door.

***

Logan was quite anxious to get out of his hospital room. He was fully dressed and looked haunted. He never gave Sam a chance to talk or to assess his condition, the words just poured out as soon as Sam appeared in the doorframe. "Sam, I need your help. Find me a geneticist to help me with a cure for this virus. There has to be something that can be done. All those I know can't really be trusted." While he hadn't told Sam more than the doctor needed to know, Logan still felt he could put his life in the hands of this Hippocratic servant. It was just not Sam's fault that Logan had so much trouble opening up. "How come it had been that easy with Max?" he suddenly asked himself. How come he was asking himself such a question when he knew how he felt for her. He hadn't said it out loud until now, but yes, he loved her. Too bad he had admitted it only now when it might be too late.

Logan's features were speaking of his determination and his eyes had just enough desperation in them to make Sam fear for his friend's power of reason. Logan was just about to go on when Sam stopped him.

"Well, before you continue, you might as well hear this. Next door is a friend of mine from the Henderson clinic. She got into some trouble with Gentech. She is hoping, well," he corrected, "we are hoping that Eyes Only could help her at least with the relocation." 

For a moment, Logan was disoriented by the sudden change of focus. He blinked, and then closed his eyes for a few seconds. After Max had broadcasted the Manticore story today, he had thought about everything but Eyes Only. Between seeing Max again and almost dying, his attention span had focused on his own plight with the virus. He hadn't even tried to find out about the impact the Manticore story had had. But then, he managed to concentrate, and his eyes regained the hard, unyielding composure he hid himself behind. His red-blue and white Halloween mask was plastered over his face once again. His heart had been broken today, but Eyes Only could not wallow in misery, at least not today it seemed. 

"Gentech, hmm? Ok, I'll see what I can do, but we need to find her a place to stay, this might take a while, considering the whole Manticore chaos. Do you have anything safe?"

"Not really, just my place, but it's not the safest."

"Then take her with you tonight, and I'll set up a meeting for tomorrow."

****

"You really think you could get out of here without a complete check up after the scare you gave me today?" Sam grinned and pushed him lightly towards the bed. 

"Actually, yes", Logan cocked his head in mock concern.

"I see I have no chance, but let me see how you're holding up first." 

While poking Logan thoroughly, Sam added: "I'll look for a geneticist to fit the bill, but you might want to approach Natalie, my friend, first. I can't guarantee that she will accept looking into the virus thing, but at least she is in the field. She could be better connected than I am. Maybe you could talk her into helping you."

Logan was surprised. Today must be one of those days where you can lose or gain everything. While the words "trouble with Gentech" and "need help" had registered, he hadn't realized that Sam's friend was a geneticist. He hadn't thought any further than finding a scientist yet. Might as well see if he did as well without a plan as Max did, he grinned to himself. 

"Is she really trustworthy?"

"I've known her for a long time. For a while, we lost contact, but she's been around for the last what, 10 years. She's been through a lot but won't say a word about it, so tread carefully, but yes, I'd trust her with my darkest secrets."

That was good. But for now, Logan was just relieved to be out of the hospital and go crash at his place to think things over. 

***

Memories, the crux of his long life. He might have been better off with his head empty, his own feral needs singing to him. Now he remembered and sadness overwhelmed him. But he could not grieve. No, it was too late for that, they were all gone, all his friends, human or otherwise. Memories were all he had left, mostly bad, but also good ones, beautiful ones. His heart was so dulled it could not ache anymore. After all those years of trying to feel more than just his hunger he had finally lost his feeling, any feeling. He was left cold, stone cold, just like the walls of the city around him. Cold, forsaken, forgotten. But not empty. Not alone. He still had his memories, could still feel through them, and remember what it was like to feel bad, but also good things.

***

Sitting in front of his computer, Logan was puzzled. His fingers attacked the keyboard with fierceness. He had a little search routine running on Natalie Brandis. He trusted Sam, but he would never repeat the mistake he had mad in the Blonck case, endangering Max because he hadn't researched a story thoroughly enough. The results of his search were quite peculiar and elicited a frown from him. He had been interested in the college studies of the future Dr. Brandis. Bleep. No records. Yes, there was a paper trail that at some point got lost in the Pulse only to reappear years later. But Logan had been hacking computers for too long not to recognize a false trail when he saw one. He had made a few calls to alleged acquaintances of Natalie Brandis before 2005. Nothing. She had married just before the pulse but before that - nada. Those who were supposed to know her did not. He started again, determined to get to the bottom of this. Sam had mentioned secrets. Well, he could not let those secrets get in the way. The keyboard started clicking as if there had been an ant stampede over it. Logan expanded his search to Canada, and there he struck gold or rather pay dirt as he accessed first the Toronto P. D., and then the coroner's office's respective databases. Police records, American as well as Canadian that established that Natalie Brandis was the same person as Natalie Lambert. He had no problem with that, after all many had changed their names. The only problem with that was that Dr. Lambert, Toronto coroner, had died under mysterious circumstances years ago. 

It hadn't been easy to establish the connection from Brandis to Lambert, especially since many of the usual documents seemed to have been lost in the Pulse, but there had been some scientific articles published along with her picture. The picture was the same in both cases. Logan cocked his head unknowingly as he compared the two pictures he had brought up on his screen. Natalie Lambert seemed a happy person, had a bright spark in her eyes, while Natalie Brandis, just a few years later... hmm... the difference could not be overseen. Well, he had secrets too, who hadn't these days. At least, he had a starting point. Now all he hoped was that she would be honest. That was all that counted for him. That and a happy resolution to his situation with Max.

***

Talking over a cup of coffee and a glass of wine had never hurt anyone. She had told Logan the whole story, well; almost all of it as far as it concerned him, regarding her involvement with Gentech. He had promised the help of Eyes Only and professed to need more information. While the young man in the wheelchair - the handsome blond from the hospital Max had protected so fiercely, she suddenly realized- was very well mannered and even nice to speak to, he was holding back something and had just started to ask pointed questions that came way too close to the truth for Natalie's liking. She was beginning to squirm in her chair, trying to decide what to do under these circumstances when the conversation suddenly changed direction and he came back to her predicament with Gentech.

"Dr. Brandis, have you ever heard of project Manticore?" His piercing blue eyes seemed to nail her to the wall. Yes, she had. Moreover, Sam had brought her up to date with the newest developments regarding the broadcasts of Eyes Only in that direction. A lot of the data she had gathered in the past two months had led her to believe that Gentech and Manticore were related, in fact so much related that they had recently started to swap information and projects and to work together to face the South African concurrence. Manticore was using Gentech as a beautiful cover story. Unfortunately, she had no proof of that fact. That was the problem Eyes Only needed to tackle.

Natalie would relocate -the use of that word had startled her - and begin anew. Logan had everything covered. Eyes Only would have to get the files Natalie had partial access to and hope they would find some more that could be hacked into. If all went well, Eyes Only would be able to expose the link between Gentech and Manticore and deal another blow to the newly reorganized monster project. 


	4. Part four

****

Part four

***

There were many good memories. Toronto. Thump. His heart chose that moment to beat once, startling him. There was also the longhaired soldier girl who had let him out of his cell, not before giving him a reassuring, fearless smile. It had been a long while since someone had smiled at him like that. His hunger had been nagging him then, but somehow the only thing he had seen in that girl had been an equal, a predator freeing its fellow prisoners. She had disappeared, leaving behind the sneaking tendrils of darkness and hunger that had enveloped him soon after and just as they did now. Hunger. Gathering his limbs together he tried to take off, away from the wet pavement of the unfamiliar city. He crumpled back into a heap as soon as he had managed to prop himself against the wall. The clear night sky beckoned to him. He knew all reason would fade away from him if he could not get a drink, then the darkness would come again. With a huge effort, he stood and moved forward onto the street, limping, leaning on walls or cars from time to time, in search for the only thing that could help him retain the brief moments of sanity and the happy memories that came with them: blood.

***

The sharp wind had blown away all the warmth lingering in her body at the thought of Logan's blue eyes. She needed to concentrate on her mission tonight and yet she could not help but remember Cindy's words. After her visit to the hospital, Max had gone to bunk in with Original Cindy and had had a long talk with her old friend, calming down. She was still desperate and heart broken, but at least she now was over the toughest part of it.

"Well, Boo, Original Cindy can't tell you nothing more than that: you have to believe that you will find a way. And you will find one. Little rich boy is smitten, too, so my girl's not alone. You can make it together, Girl, stop running away. You're home now, Boo, in your crib where you' re loved."

Original Cindy's talk almost had Max convinced. Logan had paged her repeatedly but she had refused to answer. She just couldn't. Not yet. He had talked to Cindy and she had promised him to send his girl right over when she's ready." Only then had he stopped calling. 

A few plates of Pasta Tricolore and some tears later, her friend had started anew:

"Max, Sugar, why don't you go visit Rich Boy?" she had prodded. "He's getting desperate and Original Cindy ain't gonna be held responsible for what the young smitten one could do if you don't show up and show him some love, Girl." 

This time, Max had managed a crooked grin. "Okay, I'm going."

"Not just going, Boo," Cindy had insisted. "You gotta show the boy that you feel for him, too, that he ain't alone. Rich boy's got me worried, ya know, the last few months."

And with that, Max had left for Logan's penthouse.

Since then, things had gotten a semblance of normality, as much as there could be one. They were still seeing each other; she was still doing some of his legwork, even if he didn't really need it.

Tonight, she was riding her bike, letting the wind caress her face - sweet of Logan - he had kept her baby well, full tank and everything. But tonight, she was not alone and not on a joy ride either. Dr. Brandis was sitting behind her, and they were staking out the lab where she used to work. 

***

He had stopped to rest a moment before giving another try at taking off. Slumping down in a corner he suddenly noticed the thin tha- thumps approaching. He had frozen in place waiting to see what was coming his way. The sight elicited a small crinkle in the corner of his lips as he heard another voice of his past in his head:_ "_Wanna haf one, Mate? Jus yeas for the takin. Juicy, too" it taunted him. "Gab it, Mate, cortsy of yer old pal." The two tiny bodies scurrying past him unwittingly would have to do for the moment. None even had the time to squeak as they were drained of the precious liquid. 

***

Natalie was supposed to have been long gone into hiding by now. Considering the fright of almost being kidnapped, she couldn't explain it even to herself that she was now riding a bike next to Max, the one who had almost killed her a few days ago. The wind blew against them, the current making Natalie even more tense than she had already been. The girl in front of her had put on an uncanny speed, and even though Natalie couldn't see her face, she was certain of what could be seen there: cold, emotionless determination, the focus of a soldier on its mission. 

Natalie had been suspicious when she had heard that Max was doing errands for Eyes Only. By now, she had begun to understand a little more about the person in front of her. A slow smirk crept on Natalie's face, unseen in the darkness around them. She had watched Max around Logan and had noticed the tension both were subject to when the other was around. Adding to that Max's reaction to her entry in Logan's room and Logan's words this evening as they had left the penthouse - a tentative, barely whispered "Be careful" - Natalie had reached her own conclusion. For a second, she had been painfully reminded of her own past, but she had brushed that quickly away. She was actually slowly turning into Myra the matchmaker! 

For some reason, she had begun to feel awfully protective of the two young ones as she thought of them. She chuckled lightly. She'd do her best to help, after all, even if they would never acknowledge it, they were quite forlorn, left alone with their problems.

Natalie exhaled in relief. Passing the sector police had been a piece of cake. Having connections to Eyes Only definitely had its advantages, she mused. 

***

He grimaced at the bad taste lingering on his tongue. He had had shakes that had tasted better. He was definitely not peachy. Under the grime on his face, his muscles twitched at the memory, and he let out a small howl of pain. No time for that, though, or else even worse would follow. Surveying the dark city, he looked for light clusters, movement, a hospital would be his best bet now, provided he hadn't lost his touch and could sneak in unnoticed. A few times, he dove towards promising targets, without success, though. The city was too well lit and guarded, too many people, not the right building. He needed to head for the periphery; the repeated ups and downs were beginning to take their toll on his strength. Considering how well guarded the downtown hospitals had been, he intended to look for something smaller, less frequented. And sure enough, there it was. Two red crossed vans outside, the pungent medicine smell, and accessible roof, poorly lit. Judging by the alluring thumps inside, only a few guards. 

***

A whispered voice distracted the mighty Logan Cale from the blueprints on his screen. His headpiece resonated again before he could answer. This time it was fainter, as if only to reassure itself: "Logan?" He hurried to respond without giving away his anxiety. "I'm here, Max."

"Just checking on you, Sleeping Beauty," she quipped, making him smile in spite of the tension. 

But then, he couldn't keep himself and he exploded, "Where are you, Max?"

There was no time for her to respond, as he went on: "I've been worrying my ass off! You should have checked in after having passed the sector police!"

"At least you wouldn't feel it if it suddenly went missing," he imagined Max snapping at him and he chuckled. But she was calm, her voice soft and reassuring: "Just left there Logan, target in sight, right on schedule."

They had arrived. Quietly, they had settled in the darkness, waiting with predatory patience for the shift to change. Natalie needed to tackle the guards she knew best, the night shift.

Meddling had brought Natalie into trouble before. Like the time she had offered her help out of pure "scientific interest." This time, Max had been asking about security devices around the lab compound they were going to break into tonight. And Natalie had not been able to help herself insisting that she could keep the guards talking so that Max could slip in unseen. They were probably looking for her as well; it had been three days since she hadn't shown up for work. 

Natalie forced herself to focus. There was another reason she wanted to go back, beside helping Max and Logan and busting Gentech. Her work for the past two months had gone more than a little beyond the call of duty. She had come across some interesting DNA material in the gene pool at Henderson and had used it to try out a few things. "Darn it, Lambert, why don't you just admit to yourself that you've gone nuts!" she berated herself. Messing with DNA that had a striking resemblance to the samples she had taken from Nick a long time ago and all that while that pesky, over- caffeinated assistant of hers, Angela, was pestering her with questions and commenting on how hard she was working all of a sudden. The genetic material might not have been a very close match, but there had been enough resemblance there to have her puzzle over it and go into the "scientific curiosity" modus. Right, and curiosity killed the cat. Why had she even tried to do it was beyond her comprehension. Was it because of her failure with Nick? Guilt? Atonement? Yeah, it had taken her only twenty years to get bitten by the same bug that had plagued Nick. He would have laughed his head off. The answer to her own questions eluded her. Suffice it to say, she had set her mind on it. And that's why she had tried so hard to convince Max to go along. Considering what Eyes Only had planned she needed to salvage what she could before moving on. But that was no concern of Eyes Only. It was her own past she battled.

***

Sitting in the dark was a welcome sensation for Max. She should have been bothered by the need to take a civilian with her and--let's face it--sharing the quiet darkness she had come to call her own. She wouldn't have minded sharing with Logan, though... But the woman behind her had not bothered her in any way yet. There was even a kind of companionable silence between them. But that was now over. The new guards were coming in. 

***

Max had let Natalie go in first, waiting for her to involve the guards into a conversation. After the 2 minutes they had previously agreed upon, Max elegantly landed on the wall ledge, 3 meters above the entrance. She was in the research wing of the building, empty at night, so that she didn't need to worry about patients seeing her. Cautiously feeling her way around the corner, Max was about to continue her way up to the roof, the best entrance point as she had agreed with Logan, when a sound startled her. It was metal upon metal and some glass shattering, but then all was silent. Max went on, making a note to check on her way out. Once on the roof, though, the state of the air hatch she was supposed to use made her call on Logan. She whispered for his ears only, "Logan, it looks like someone just broke in a few minutes before me. I'm still going in." Silently, she perused the broken window, brushed aside the glass shards and slipped in. 'Careful, Max' was the only answer she received, the right one, as she quietly smiled to herself. There were no guards on the corridors, and Natalie had provided an access card to the lab area. As long as they hadn't shut her out in the three days she had been missing... Max was relieved when the door opened, and no alarm sounded. As she busied herself with the computer looking for the files Eyes Only needed, she concentrated on Logan's whispered indications and the silence of the corridor behind her, wasting no thought on the alleged intruder. Natalie was with the guard downstairs and anyone coming her way could be only an enemy.

***

Natalie's plan had worked up to this point. It was quite a risk she was taking as everything was timed, and any deviance could turn out deadly for real. But there was no way she could let Logan or Max in on her plans. She had to risk it. She had convinced the guards downstairs to let her in rather easily. Now, she was just entering her own office to retrieve the evidence of her research when in the dim light coming from the corridor, she faced the barrel of a handgun.

***

It had taken a while to get into the offices unnoticed in his attempt to find the supply and storage room. Then, the rummaging on the lookout for the fridge where the blood pouches would be, but finally he had made it. Trembling, eyes ablaze, he swallowed greedily, loosing little thought over the mess he made around. Five empty, bloody plastic shells later, he stopped and wiped his chin, pocketing another pouch. No, he was not ashamed, but not elated either; just relieved he had made it in time before loosing himself in the darkness of the hunger again. He could think somewhat more clearly again after what had seemed to him an eternity of hunger and torment. Concentrating on his surroundings he was about to attempt a quick clean up - as much as the blood was concerned - when he realized that he could hear voices on the same floor: a few of them actually. Some whispered, some tense and angry. Quickly stuffing the empty pouches into the biohazard bin, he crept out of the storage room, trying to assess his situation. Had anybody heard his rummaging? The whispers were accompanied by the silent clicking of a keyboard, barely to be heard even by him. No, the other direction posed more of a threat. Deciding he had stayed in long enough, he opened the unsecured window of the storage room and flew out. At least that way, an inattentive observer could blame what little mess he had left inside on the wind. 

***

"So, Dr. Brandis, you wanted to tuck your research in tonight, didn't you?" Angela's face had lost all of the compassion it had ever shown and was radiating anger. "Made me wait three days, too." Natalie had frozen in her tracks, the door slowly sliding shut behind her. Heart pounding, she was unable to move. Not that Angela would have permitted such a thing, anyway. 

***

Max finished loading the data, shut down the computer, and proceeded to the next step in their plan. She had placed the explosives and the evidence they had prepared beforehand and was now heading to the roof to check out the supposed burglar. That was when she found the open window. She looked down and concluded that whoever it had been, he was out. Another quick search of the upper floor gave no other results. "All clear, Logan, I'm on my way out." They had grudgingly agreed that Natalie needed to disappear permanently, or else she would be hounded down relentlessly. It had been Natalie's idea to stage her death. Logan had looked quite annoyed at her, as if he had some misgivings, but even though both Max and he had remembered Nathan Herrero, they hoped Natalie wouldn't have the same bad luck. Max checked her watch. Five more seconds, and there would be a small explosion outside, attracting the guards out. Max retreated the way she came.

***

Natalie's assistant moved backwards a few steps and motioned with the gun for her to move into the room. She patted the table attracting Natalie's attention to the now disheveled pile of notes there. Frantic, Natalie moved forward a step. 

"Stop right there!" Angela ordered, aiming the gun. "Mr. White said you would be poking around like a nosy little bitch, but what you found out, well," she grinned widely with an ironical wink at her victim, "let's just say you made my day."

Natalie started to argue with her, in the hope Max could hear what was going on and come to her rescue, but Angela raised her gun and activated the silencer on it.

AN: Ok that's it for today, the rest, tomorrow. This is the point where you can ask all those questions you need to ask. I'll give you some explanations as to who Natalie is (not my character – part of the "Forever Knight" universe). 


	5. Part five

****

Part five

***

He had been unable to curtail his curiosity and headed for the window where he could hear the voices. Two hearts thumping alluringly. There was something familiar, beckoning to him. The voices had suddenly stopped. He was now hovering in front of the window, listening in.

"To think Gentech went through all that trouble to hire you, and you were on it from the beginning." As Angela grabbed the pile of notes and moved towards the exit, Natalie searched the darkness for an object she could throw towards her assailant. "You saved us a lot of trouble, Natalie. Say nightie night, now." 

The flash of recognition had hit him the moment everything around him exploded in a bright light. He was thrown out of balance and eventually fell when one of the caryatides on top of the building tumbled down towards him.

***

Max was pacing. Natalie had been supposed to escape the attention of the guards and let them believe she had gone into the building. When the guards would be out, there would be several explosions inside, a fire and Natalie's "body" would be found in the morning, unrecognizable except for her ID card. There were quite a few holes in the plan they had hurriedly put together but that was all they could do on such short notice. And there was Matt Sung, the detective, too, who had promised to back them up. Max was supposed to make sure no one got hurt. "Easy job, Logan," she muttered, cursing under her breath. Except for the fact that Natalie was not at the meeting point. And inside, the thunder-like noise heralded the second series of explosions.

***

Natalie had been expecting the explosion. When Angela whirled around and stumbled, Natalie's first thought was to get the gun. But Angela was too far away, so she did the only thing she could: she ducked and crawled towards the door. Soon the explosions inside would go off. This floor would be only slightly affected if everything went according to plan, accordingly Natalie didn't waste much thought on Angela. She only thought of Max, who by now was probably worrying that she had not reached the meeting point. Yes, and there was the slight matter of her papers that had flown through the room when Angela had fallen down. Not even the slightest chance of picking them up. Natalie cursed for the first time in years.

As she ran down the corridor to find the rope ladder Max had left for her, the building shook with loud explosions never letting her hear the inhuman roar of rage and despair behind her.

***

For the umpteenth time since he had first met Max, Logan wished he could pace the wooden floor of his penthouse. Rolling over it just didn't bring the same release. He had been confined to the house since Max needed the superior processor power of his desktop computer to hack the passwords. Now, he berated himself once more for accepting Natalie's idea. It had made him suspicious, and he had waited for a chance to test her before approaching her with his offer. This had seemed the ideal opportunity. But now, since he knew that Natalie hadn't shown up at the meeting point, the worst thoughts crossed his mind. 

***

The police were already in front of the building, together with several onlookers as always, an ambulance had just arrived and the loud voices of the firemen yelled over the chaos when Max, who had been about to storm the building herself in search of Natalie, finally glimpsed the object of her worry sneaking to the meeting place. Max breathed in deeply, preparing a long tirade of selected vocabulary addressed at her charge when she was suddenly interrupted by the yells of the doctors and police carrying an body out. 

Max swore, looking Natalie over. "What happened?"

"My tech assistant, Angela Barnes, had a sudden urge to see me dead or handed over to Gentech. She should be okay, though," Natalie frowned, "I was the one who barely got away."

"You surely look like it, lady, let's give Logan the 411, he's probably sprouted legs to pace around by now." Max dragged her into her dark corner and let her talk to Logan on the cell while she observed the hullabaloo around the clinic. The fire was still raging and for a while, Max feared that it would extend to the other wing of the building. They had planned the explosions well, however and the fire was contained after a few hours. Logan had come to pick Natalie up, leaving Max behind, who had wanted to stay for a little while more, at least until they found the body.

***

Logan's Aztek felt like Heaven itself to Natalie. After the adrenaline rush, she was now slumped in her chair and had a difficult time keeping her eyes open. She noticed that Logan was silently eyeing her over as if trying to decide whether he should speak or forever hold his tongue. He might have been cute, but she wasn't in the mood for it. 

"What ?!" she snapped.

Logan opened the board hatch and handed her a new ID, a sector pass and a plane ticket. Then, he took an envelope and handed it to her as well. "It isn't much, but it might help to get you started."

Natalie started to protest or at least thank him, but he raised his hand and stopped her with an icy look. The moment of silence weighed heavily on Natalie. What could he want? 

***

Max was starting to lose her patience. The fire had been extinguished, and she was still there, acting like she had to earn her degree in mass psychology. Natalie had been declared missing by the guards and the search went on and on and on. "Come on guys, a girl's gotta catch some sleep once a week!" she griped, starting to feel cranky. 

She had noticed a ragged, unkempt figure among the trees in front of the clinic, silently observing the crowd, but she kept her distance. She wasn't responsible for all the catastrophe eager bums on the streets of Seattle. Now, if he were one of Lydecker goons, well yes, that was an entirely different matter, she smiled. 

She snapped to attention, as there seemed to be some sort of commotion at the entrance. "They found Dr. Brandis!" Two firemen were coming out, carrying a covered body. 

As agreed, detective Matt Sung was there, receiving the identification tag of the victim. "Yes, this was Dr. Natalie Brandis" he indicated, lifting the cover for barely a split second. Then turning away, he motioned for the orderlies to carry the body to the coroner's van. Max sighed. Mission accomplished, Thumbs up for Eyes Only. 

She had barely put her helm on to jet away into the night when for a few seconds, a heart rending howl - or was it a scream?--sliced the silence of the place. She whirled around to identify the source, somewhere between the trees, but it had already stopped. The bum who had been there moments ago had vanished. Whatever. Max revved up her baby and disappeared into the night, glad to just go and crash at her crib.

***

Logan's blue eyes had locked with hers as they had stopped in front of the safe house. Deep blue, usually warm and compassionate eyes, now impassive. They reminded her of something. Nick ? No, something else. 

But he interrupted her train of thought, "Dr. Brandis is now officially dead. You can make a new start now. But I'm still curious." He seemed to decide that surprise was the best course of action and hit the jackpot with the question he uttered almost with delight, "Dr. Lambert, why is Gentech really after you?" In response to her stunned silence, he dropped the rest of the bomb, "Does it have anything to do with your research in Toronto ?" 

Logan smirked slightly as he saw that the second part had been right on target as well. It had been a shot into the blue, just a hunch, nothing he had found in the hacked files. Still, it had hit home. 

The woman was flabbergasted. 

Seeing her close her eyes, Logan berated himself for doing this in the car of all places. After all he was alone with her and she wasn't old enough to be unable to scratch his eyes out or the like if the fancy struck her.

Natalie had tried to be patient, but this question topped it all. In her opinion, this had nothing to do with Gentech or Eyes Only. The new rush of adrenaline let her physically feel her own thoughts clicking into place. She slowly, seductively turned to him and looked in his eyes when she oh so sweetly replied, ""So, Logan, you're not just Eyes Only, you have brains, too." With that she stormed out of the car and into the cabin, leaving Logan alone in his Aztek. 

"Yeah, 'Ass Only', she should have said," he thought, hurriedly getting out of the car. At least she hadn't locked the door. Maybe he still had a chance.

She was facing the fireplace, her back to him.

He stopped in the doorway, as if afraid she would feel cornered. Sensing that the woman in front of him could not be more angered than now, Logan decided on a change of plan: 

"Natalie, the reason I brought that out was that I need your help."

Silence. He would never know if it had been his calm, even voice or something else that made her turn around and unleash her wrath on him. She was fierce, but at least she was talking, it occurred to him. "Mr. Cale, I will not deny it, I was Natalie Lambert as you already seem to know. But I reserve myself the right to forbid any further intrusion into my private life." 

Her eyes ablaze, the words were coming out like stones raining upon him. He had wanted to get her attention before entrusting her with his deepest secrets but he seemed to have opened a hornets' nest. She continued, pacing, some of her anger spent already, "Not even I have the answers you are searching for. There are still many pieces missing in my past, and I don't appreciate it being prodded for my deepest feelings. And I am sure you don't, either."

Logan dared to close the door behind him, but remained at a distance, his embarrassment plainly evident on his face. At the guilty look in his blue eyes and the sheepish grin he was trying to apologize with, all of Natalie's anger dissipated into nothingness. With a pang in her heart she tried to chase Nick's memory away and to concentrate on the task at hand.

On a lighter tone, she asked, "Well, what is it that you need help for?"

His head came up, and she could see relief wash over him. He started, treading carefully, with the short variant. "Natalie, you have been around Max and me the last few days. I'll make it short. As a result of our standoffs with Manticore and Gentech, Max now carries a deadly, genetically tailored retrovirus, a virus that only I am susceptible to. It can be transmitted through the most coincidental contact. I don't have to tell you that I care a lot for Max, and that this situation drives us both mad. Natalie," he pleaded, "Please help us find a cure."

Nothing could have prepared Logan for the look he now saw on Natalie's face. She was flabbergasted, that much was clear, though it couldn't have been just the news he had given her. There was something else, too. Apart from the surprise, he thought he read intense pain and sorrow, but also compassion and tenderness. What was going on? The silence was as thick as brick, and Dr. Lambert had barely managed to press her open lips together so she wouldn't look like a complete moron for the second time this evening. 

Logan hurried to explain. "I can see you are surprised, and I can't promise it wouldn' t be dangerous, but it really is our only hope of ever being together. I've waited so long because I wanted to make sure you know that you are under no obligation to help us. What we did today, we would at any time, without expecting anything in return. We wanted to help. That's why Eyes Only is around. And of course, we have our own little war against Manticore and now against Gentech, too. But this, this is our own personal hell, and you have just been invited to step in."

Natalie got a grip on herself. She settled comfortably in the armchair. This was going to be a long night. "Why don't you come closer, I don't bite." She shivered. "We should get that fire going, it's getting chilly in here." She watched him use his exoskeleton to get up and felt ashamed for bossing him around. But tonight, there was no place for niceties, only for the truth. Well at least part of it she thought, smiling to herself. As he was busy with the fireplace, she rose to get themselves two cups of hot chocolate. Logan might be a man, and a yummy one at that, but hot chocolate was a rarity these days, and it had never hurt anyone.

She stretched in her chair and looked impishly at the seated man in front of her. "Before I give you a definite answer, I'd like to hear the long version of the story."

AN: I had thought about giving this a new ending, make the story longer and shippier. For the moment I'll just post it as I have it. If you want a different ending, let me know. Last part will be in on Monday morning.

P.S. Forgot the disk with explanations on Natalie at home. Sorry. Will be up with the last part.


	6. Background info - can be skipped

Some explanations you might need – if not, just go on to the next part  
  
  
  
AN: The next part was originally the last part of the story. Since I know you all want not only shippy but extremely shippy stuff, I began writing something of a continuation to it, with very shippy stuff (Boy, I'm not making any sense here). But I was kind of up to my neck in school work this weekend and I rushed it and that's why I'm terribly unhappy with the new ending. Therefore: here comes the original ending. I know everybody (me included – by the way, thanks for the comments) want – well, we all know what we want, now don't we? So I'll start revising the new ending I wrote and I'll post it as soon as the plot makes some sense.  
  
Before we get to part six (cause it's not the last part anymore, evil grin), I'll try to tell you some things about Natalie and hope you won't run away screaming. If you're not interested you can skip this now and go on to part seven –no problem, there will be little or no problems of understanding things.  
  
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Once upon a time, there was a TV show called "Forever Knight" – reruns on SciFi. Its hero (was) is Nick Knight, Toronto P.D. homicide detective. He seeks to repay society for his previous sins – in the PD night shift. Dr. Natalie Lambert, department coroner, has the surprise of her life when one night (on her 28th birthday) she gets to do the autopsy on the victim of a pipe bomb (the man had tried to stop it from exploding) and has the body get up from the table and drain all the blood in the morgue stock. Cause yes - and now is the time to run and never read my fics again - Nick is a vampire. Albeit a good one. He feels very guilty (and I mean very angsty stuff) for his past and tries to find redemption. In fact, he wants to become mortal again. Natalie agrees to help him find a cure, since she has reason to think his vampirism is caused by a virus. They become great friends and solve lots of cases together, blah, blah. They even fall in love. But Nick hesitates to act upon that love for fear of destroying that which he finds to be the most precious thing that she possess. Her mortality.  
  
So we have the same angst and dancing around going on as in Dark Angel – Nick=Max and Natalie=Logan. Virus – no love relationship, we're just friends. The similiarities go well beyond that and I won't list them all, just the most important. Nick's vampire "father" is Lacroix, a very evil guy, who hates to see Nick turn to his human side and would do everything to bring him back to the fold. He even tries to kill Natalie. The relationship with Nick is a love-hate one, much like the one Lydecker-Max.  
  
Then there is of course the "Alec figure", Janette, Nick's vampiric sister. They lived together for nearly a century before she decided to move on without him. Now he feels tempted by her but keeps returning to Natalie. The Jam Pony crew corresponds to only one man –Detective Don Schanke – just imagine Cindy and Herbal and Sketchy and Normal all rolled into one and you get the picture.   
  
The show got cancelled after 2 seasons but fans pestering the network made it come back for a third one (hint, hint…). The only problem is its ending: Nick and Nat have had it and decide to make love. I'll tell you what happens next only if you ask specifically. Use this link to see a pic: http://www.honeybat.com/kristin2/Forever_Knight/Season_1/dkn104.JPG  
  
Sorry for the long explanation thing. But there is a reason to it: I need to know if you guys are totally turned off by the idea of bringing Nick into the story.  
  
I.e: Do I do the revised ending including only Max and Logan and Nat as the doc who helps them get the virus cure or would you like Nat to find out what happened to Nick? Just a happy end or a double happy end or no happy end? 


	7. Part six

Part six  
  
***  
  
The man stumbled forward on the streets of Seattle, mumbling to himself words that only he could understand. He was talking to the images in his mind, recounting his memories, smiling here, sobbing there. If people had listened, some may even have understood a few of the old French words. But nobody heeded him. Behind the space needle the shadows of the night were slowly dissipated by the bright orange of morning. The man looked at the Space Needle, then around. His look had become haunted, as if he was looking for a hole to hide into, a rock underneath he could crawl and stay buried under for centuries. But all he could find within walking distance was the old compound of Bellevue, before the pulse a psychiatric rehab center, now just an asylum for the lost of this world. He entered the building with long strides just as the sun went up.  
  
***  
  
Natalie shifted in her armchair. It would be morning in a few minutes. The shock of the last few days would probably take a long time to heal, especially since the aftermath had affected her deeply. Logan was quiet now, probably thinking about Max or anything else while Natalie tried to get some order in the chaos of her emotions.  
  
So this is why she finally had turned to research in the field of genetics. So that 20 years later, a blond young man would come to her and beg her to cure him and his friend from a mutated virus that prevented them from being together.  
  
Almost hysterically, Natalie chuckled, "This must be something in my stars, must be destiny engraved on my forehead."  
  
She liked Logan. He was principled and straightforward, helping where he could, almost in atonement for something. One man trying to fix the broken world, turn back the wheel of time, blaming himself when he did not succeed. And his own personal happiness had been lost someplace on the road amidst the broken pieces.  
  
And the girl, Max, a product of this mad world, a genetically engineered killing machine, as Logan fondly called her. She had inspired respect; Max loved him for all she had seen, from the distance, admiring him, aspiring for that which he stood for. Like the sun and the moon, forever doomed to chase after the other.  
  
So here she was again, starting from scratch. Only this time, it was for the sake of two lovely young people with their heart in the right place.  
  
"I wish you would see me now, Nick. Ah, LaCroix would have a laughing fit." Slowly, she returned to the present.  
  
Clearing her voice she whispered, "Yes, it must be my destiny, indeed."  
  
And louder: "You don't know what you are asking of me, Logan."  
  
Then, she stood up, walking to the fireplace.  
  
"I'll try my best to help." She turned to face him, her old energetic self again.  
  
"But first, let me fill in a few blanks for you. As you have found out, I have a very troubled past and it wouldn't do for it to resurface now. I haven't done anything wrong, if that might be of concern to you."  
  
Well, at least not on purpose, she winced to herself before continuing.  
  
"If problems should arise from that area I might need your help without me having to answer too many questions. Can you accept that?"  
  
As he nodded, she went on pacing. This was the delicate part.  
  
"To be honest, I feel it is necessary to warn you." She sighed and settled back in her chair. She made sure she had Logan's undivided attention and leaned forward, looking at the man in front of her, starting to speak, slowly and painfully at first.  
  
"Years ago, I spent a lot of time trying to cure someone of another mutated virus. No, it was not the same thing," she hurried to add at his concerned startle.  
  
"But, I failed, miserably so. That's why I reacted so strongly to your proposal. It reminded me of something I thought I had left behind. There were many reasons why I failed, but foremost was that I lacked the full cooperation of the party involved. Thus, we come to my request." She paused for a moment and caught his gaze.  
  
"Should you decide to take me up on my offer, I would need your full trust and cooperation. No secrets. What do you say?"  
  
Logan was taken aback. She said she had tried something like this once and failed. However, she said it had been a different type of ailment altogether. Who knows, maybe that particular case did not have a cure. And she had been honest, at least regarding the parts that involved him and Max.  
  
What the hell was he doing, beating around the bush? He was desperate.  
  
"Yes, Natalie, and I need to thank you for your honesty. I appreciate any help you can provide for Max and me." It couldn't have been easy for her to spill out her past failures like that.  
  
With that, Natalie finally gave in to her urge to run and hide to think about the newest developments. She slowly rose from her chair, heading for the door. "I might still regret this," she realized with a pang in her heart, but she had known, deep inside, that she, too, had needed to work for a good cause after all that time, to atone for her previous failure.  
  
Genetics had not been as rewarding as her former work for the coroner's office. That could change now. It would be just what she needed to get her life back, a happy one, with serious reasons to wake up in the morning.  
  
"I'll do it for me, for Nick, I'll do it," she thought. "No, make that for Logan and Max, they deserve that."  
  
Turning back to him, she instructed, "I'll contact you with a list of equipment I'll need. And I also need to talk to Max about this."  
  
She stopped on her way out, as if on a hunch. Her voice suddenly became menacing.  
  
"Logan, you have talked this over with her, haven't you ?"  
  
Seeing the look on his face she mumbled something to herself, exasperated and then, half yelled half laughed at him:  
  
"So, what are you waiting for? Go see her, or you'll need a new surname when she scratches your eyes out!"  
  
Before Logan could answer, she was out the door, rushing into the woods around the cabin.  
  
"Weird," Logan mused, pondering how in the end there had been a glimmer of hope on her face. Hope. For redemption? Whatever it had been, it promised a new goal to live for…for them all.  
  
  
  
AN: As I said, if you want me to, I'll do the happy end part. 


	8. Complete story in one piece

AN: I'm terribly sorry to be keeping you waiting for the next parts. Somehow it's a lot easier to find the time to write during the school semester. In the summer the sun is shining, the clones are calling and well, the computer gets quite lonely…. I'm just doing some reorganizing here. Mainly I'm ending "When the past comes ahaunting" with part six and inserting part seven, eight and any other new parts (coming soon, I promise!!! – on both my wip stories) as a sequel. Thanks for your reviews – they're very helpful. I'll be seeing you around. Enclosed you'll find the whole story without any more author notes or comments. Enjoy.

Trice

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me - that should be clear by now - *I would never do such a thing as cancelling the one show on air that was full of hidden truths and symbolism and lent itself to intelligent comments. But I love them all, so what can I do? It's not like TPTB miss any of them right now. I'll return them in the morning, unless Logan Cale, "protector of all that is good and true", advocates larceny and lets me keep the whole shebang or, who knows, even calls the store and has "them" charge everything to him.

www.savedarkangel.net

**When the past comes ahaunting**

**Part One**

**Hunger. Pain. Hunger. Blood. Thirst, his mind sung to him from the deep recesses it had retreated itself to for so many years. There was only one thing that drove the battered, weak body forward into the dark woods, toward the city in the valley and there it was again, to his left. Now! He leapt forward. The sound of blood thumping in his ears slowly faded and then vanished completely. Everything so quiet! He rose from the damp cover of autumn leaves, disregarding the mess around him. His mind had stopped singing for a moment, letting him feel the elation of success. Still, something was amiss. All so quiet! The elation was gone and now there was only emptiness in him, around him, in his mind, all over him, darkness enveloping him coldly, steadily, an icy fortress he felt he needed to blast away. His scream of rage rose like a thunder over the trees, in answer to the darkness, emptiness and quiet in him, was carried by the wind to the mountain tops, came back to him as an echo and for a moment his heart rose in victory. But the scream ebbed away, just like the thumping in his ears had and now there was silence again, all quiet, except for the faint howl of a lonely creature in the woods over Seattle.**

*******

**As Angela could tell with her eyes closed by now - the good doctor was pissed. In such cases she always seemed to radiate an aura of strength and determination that made everybody back away for fear of crossing her. What could it be this time? More than likely, it wasn't a person. The few friends in the doctor's life were rather of the amiable type as far as the nurse could tell. Must be that that DNA resequencing she had been working on for the last 3 months had failed again for reasons that were beyond comprehension at the moment. **

**Dr. Natalie Brandis sighed. Sleepless nights had become as common in the Henderson Clinic labs as in the old times in Toronto. **

**But then, she was doing it for a good cause. Oh, if only she were in Canada, then all this would be just a bad dream. And then the nightmares she was having lately, the pain of thinking back about Toronto.... She had woken up screaming, drenched in cold sweat. She had seen a face, contorted, eyes yellow, any sign of reason gone. Then, they had become a feral, hellish red, radiating an almost palpable heat; even anger and she had woken up. "Don't go there, Gal, you left that all behind a long time ago." Shuddering, she tried to brush the experience away, concentrating on the task at hand when her assistant's voice startled her out of her reverie.**

**"Dr. Brandis, do you need anything before I go tonight?"**

**"That's ok, Angela, I'm all set, thank you." But the other woman would not budge. "Hah, too much to ask for," Brandis cracked to herself. The young assistant had grown on her in the last six months they had been working together. She probably just wanted to be friends but then there was such a thing as too much of the good stuff. **

**"Dr. Brandis, if I may be so bold, maybe it would help if you could work the dayshift? Since Dr. Bastian's promotion, the spot would be free." **

**"Thank you, Angela, for your concern. It's just that I'm so used to working nights that it would do more harm than good to change it now." She sighed, suddenly aware of the strange look on Angela's face. "Don't worry, Kiddo," the older woman forced herself to smile, "I'll be okay." **

**"Good night then, Doctor." **

**"See you tomorrow, Angela."**

**After the younger woman had left, the doctor thought, "I'm finally alone!" The empty hallways or the artificial light that barely succeeded in banishing the darkness from her office didn't bother her. Alas, it was the ghosts of the past that it could not keep away. "Look at the bright side, Gal, it wasn't as if you were working in a morgue. Even back then, there had been no surprises," she chided herself before admitting, "Well, except for one, maybe, a long time ago." **

**Working on the DNA seemed so hard now. If there had not been the work she probably would have been just some number in a coroner's list of Jane Does. No, don't think about coroners. Whatever had possessed her lately? **

** For years, she had not thought of Toronto, and now, for the past two days, starting with that blasted nightmare, somehow every little detail had sent her mind spinning to those times, flashback by flashback, nightmare after nightmare. It seemed she could not think of much else except for her own personal house of horrors. "Maybe I'm getting old, that must be it. Actually, oh, yes, this was it; her 40th birthday was coming up this week. Twelve years ago she had first met Nick. She should take that day off; it would not do to sit here tormenting herself over past events.**

**Putting down her instruments she thought for a moment to call her old friend Sam Carr, he, with his charm and good spirits might just be the one to take her mind off the past and cheer her up. They hadn't seen each other in a while, but still, just maybe... The alternative was going home. Suddenly, the perspective of crashing down between her bed sheets became more appealing by the second. She needed to sleep this out. Besides, there was Zorro to feed. She chuckled slightly. Whatever had possessed her to give him that name? Well, his being black with a white mask -like spot around his eyes might have done the trick. Still, thinking about it now made her chuckle, "Gal, your subconscious has gone down the drains a long time ago, it's too late to start fixing it now." **

**After exchanging small talk with the guards as she did every night, she finally got outside in the pouring rain. She needed to run to her car and the water drops were coming down so hard she could barely see anything. Why did she have to chose Seattle of all the darn American cities, why not sunny, warm Miami? Well, this was where she had finally come to herself after her bout of amnesia. Most of it had come back to her over the years, but not everything. And then, this was where most firms doing genetic research were located. It had been her only option - pathology had been out of the question - as masochistic as she might be she could not do that to herself. Not here, not alone, not after all that had happened. And, darn it, she had found it impossible to move to a sun-drenched city. Did hope really linger that deep down inside of her? "Gal, you should know better than that. The word hope should be stricken from your vocabulary," she lectured to herself. After the pulse, nothing in this country could have resurrected hope. **

**For a moment she forgot her dreary thoughts to focus on getting to her small pre-pulse Ford without having to hang herself to dry afterwards. Her car was quite a run away; the road was dark and quiet except for the slight humming noise of a van at the other end of the street. Keys in hand, Natalie made a run for her car, water hitting her raincoat in rivulets and small streams. Screeching tires and the sound of a car revving up made her whirl around before reaching the street walk. **

**But it was too late, a pair of strong hands had grabbed her from behind. The car keys flew in a large trajectory out of her grasp as she reached for the arms holding her neck, dragging her backwards. Panic overwhelmed her for barely a fraction of a second. She bit the hand that was bruising her jaw and tried to elbow her assailant. She had to make it, darn, or else she was history. **

**A sudden instinct made her stop her struggles abruptly and propping her feet in the worn out pavement, she propelled her upper body forward sending the man behind her crashing over the parked cars. With the last ounce of strength left, she lounged forward and to the right, a few precious inches away from the van, heart pounding, frantic with fear. **

**That small respite wouldn't have helped her much if there hadn't been the sound of a sector police hummer overhead. There was no time for the driver to go get her without been filmed by the security system. The other goon was still on the hood of a red truck, groaning as he managed to prop himself up on an elbow, only to see the van screeching away into the distance. Getting her bearings, she gave in to the rush of adrenaline and broke into a run away from the scene, along small winding alleys towards the old city center. **

**She never looked back, just focused on keeping the pace, praying she would not bump into that van again. As long as there were still people at the South Market, and there would be people, for at least a couple hours more, she deemed herself safer there than home, at least until she could think of a place to crash.**

**As hard as she was trying, she could not identify her assailants for certain. The police would not be able to help her. They would say it had been just another mugging. This was nothing unusual, the dark streets of post-Pulse Seattle often witnessed such incidents, even outside the curfew period. They couldn't have been linked to the Community as she still called it. They had never bothered her before, why start now? Besides**,** they just didn't operate that way. Life after the Pulse had become very easy for them, she imagined, with all that computerized data that hindered them from assuming new identities gone. Normal robbers wouldn't use this modus operandi either. **

**No, this could only be a Gentech assignment. They had been trying for days to get her to accept the new job on her own volition. First it had been just a normal job offer addressed to her over normal channels. When she had asked around about Gentech, everybody had been terribly tight lipped and noncommittal. That reaction and the fact that the work involved living on the grounds of the Gentech lab camps, cut off from the world had made her wary. Something told her that this wasn't a job you could easily quit. **

**Panting hard she stopped for just a moment to catch her breath and couldn't help but smirk, "Rusty and old you might be, Gal, and a lousy runner at that, but you can still pick a punch. Still, this is no time for rustiness,**"** she admonished herself a few seconds later, "Just keep on the move, Gal, faster, faster." She could barely breathe anymore and she hadn't reached the well lit and heavily guarded South Market area yet. The urgency of the situation almost made her panic again. She hadn't escaped the Gentech goons just to be done in by some gang boy on a fun trip. So she kept moving, as hard and painful that might be.**

**Since her refusal to accept the job, the threats had grown in intensity. Why was she so important for them? She had done good work and had achieved some international acclaim for her results with DNS recombination, but surely there were other more capable geneticists than her. She had come across some rather dirty things about Gentech during the last year, but she had no proof to back her up, just good, sound logic linking facts together and a few assumptions to complete the picture. **

**Feverishly she searched for a solution to her predicament. Should she dare go home? No, it wasn't worth the risk. And Zorro was set with fresh food and water for at least another day. Afterwards her neighbor would check on him. To whom could she turn for help? Suddenly the sadness of it all bore heavily down on her. There were very few people she could trust. And none really knew the truth about her; none had a clue about Toronto. **

**Actually there was one person she dared trust, since she had accidentally found out some secrets of his own. Sam, Sam Carr. They had met at Memorial Hospital where she had worked for a while just after the Pulse. At that time, she had still been with Gary, her ex-husband. She had gotten along well enough with Sam, each respecting and admiring the other for his work, but she had felt nothing more than that for him. **

**Then, they had lost touch for a while, only to meet again by chance a few years ago, when Sam had needed answers on a mysterious genetic problem he was researching. Eventually she had found out Sam's secret, and she was glad she had done it. At least that way she had managed to regain some hope in the future of this world and feel useful again. **

**She remembered the shock, the slight anger at his lack of trust and later the feeling of elation seeing the results of her research into Sam's problem broadcast by Eyes Only as part of the evidence in the indictment of Ronald Custer, scientist at Gentech. She had never approached Sam about it as she had finally understood the need for secrecy and he hadn't pursued the matter either, although he must have known that she had found out about his link to Eyes Only. That unspoken knowledge between them was proof of the trust they had in each other. Thinking of Sam had warmed her up a bit, but her fingers were still clammy and the feet, well, she had stopped feeling those many streets ago.**

**There, finally, she sighed and leaned shivering on a derelict house wall at the side of South Market. She had made it. What now? Before she even had time to relax and grasp the gravity of her predicament, realization hit her like a ton of bricks. To get to Sam's hospital she needed a sector pass. There was no way to contact Sam other than going to the hospital in person. **

**She swore silently for the first time in years. Stealing a pass was a bad idea, what with all the guards around. The stress was starting to get to her, desperation and panic had finally caught up with her. Great, she didn't have a pass, not since quitting her job as a physician there. However, if she were to be injured... There was a risk in assuming somebody would actually care enough to get her to the hospital, but otherwise she was fresh out of options. Curiously, she was shocked how desperate that idea sounded to her. Two days ago, she wouldn't have been able to pull off such a crazy thing, but the perspective of being forced to work for the Gentech bastards or being killed gave her the necessary impetus. **

**After all, each choice she had made in the last two days had somehow narrowed her way down to this one desperate measure. She might as well continue, there was no going back. Looking around the slowly thinning crowd on the badly lit South Market she saw a bus approaching the sector barrier. Without giving the matter much thought, for fear her self preservation instinct would get the better of her, she lunged forward, impacting with the bus on the driver's side. **

**The sickening thud was heard all over the market. People stopped and turned around. Many just went on, urged by the sector police. A few faces however bent over the wet and mud caked female on the ground as if trying to determine if she was worth the trouble of dirtying a car while transporting her to the next hospital. It was the guilt-ridden bus driver who checked her for life signs and convinced the sector police to call an ambulance.**

**Part Two**

**Pain! Pain, so much of it that it made him roll over the pavement, hugging his knees tight. His mind had stopped singing to him. Now only the pain registered in his befuddled state. But the pain did not come from his limbs, oh no, he was certain of that. His limbs ached, yes, but this was pain! Sobs wrecked his body and all he could do was hug himself tightly and try to chase away the pain in his heart. And then he heard a voice in his head. It wasn't his mind speaking to him again as before. It wasn't the first time, either. But now she was helping him, helping him to drive away the cold, the emptiness, and the dark. Rapt, he listened to the voice that made the waves of pain go away. Yes, go away! Never come back! With the calm, soothing tone echoing in his ears, his muscles relaxed, he loosened his grip on his knees. No more quiet, no more emptiness! Yes, it was she. Now there were images of her, too, sunshine. Blinded, he closed his eyes before the image of sun in his head. Slowly, carefully he dared open them again, as the voice continued to coo to him. Not alone, not alone. Peace, yes. He drifted away in sleep, dreaming of a beautiful voice and of sunshine.**

*******

**Max was pacing the dirty hospital floors, anxious for Logan to wake up. She had berated herself for the last 8 hours since they had brought him to the hospital. She should have known they wouldn't let her escape from Manticore so easily. She should have known something was amiss when they had injected her with an unscheduled substance. She should have... But she hadn't. **

**All she could think of was Logan, how it would feel to be in his arms again, to escape the cold, military confines of her soul and delve in the warmth of his love, the love she had seen in his eyes while he was holding her in the woods around Manticore. His wonderful eyes. Eyes Only. A heavy sigh escaped her parched lips. She had imagined the scene so often, in so many different ways, with many different endings, but each time in her fantasy he had opened his arms to welcome her. Darn it, he had done it in real life, too. He had kissed her with a sweet, passionate kiss to wash away the pain and sorrow in her eyes. She had kissed him, too. A deadly kiss from a genetically engineered, armor plated fighting machine. Now he was fighting for his life. She swore, exhausted from the plight of escaping her childhood nightmare, Manticore, almost killing the one she loved, retrieving the antidote, freeing the tortured anomolies in the Manticore basement, returning to bring the antidote to Logan, blaming herself, worrying and pacing the floor with 10 miles an hour. **

**"Don't forget the assorted fights, killings and maimings on your way, Soldier," a small cynical voice in her head whispered. You made record time, too. All in one short day's work."**

**Pressing her lips together to steel herself for what was coming she rushed towards Dr. Carr the moment she saw him. **

**"He's ok, Max," he assured her. "He is still asleep, though." She couldn't help noticing Carr's tension as he went on. "You were right, the virus is lethal only for him. Otherwise it is dormant and not infectious for anyone else."**

**"How is it transmitted?"**

**"Through body fluids. Sweat, saliva etc. You might be able to touch him briefly but I wouldn't recommend it as it is hard to say how much contact would be deadly to him."**

**"You mean I can be in the same room, I can speak with him from a safe distance, but I can't touch him, is that it?"**

**"Yes, that about describes the situation." The compassion in his eyes was unmistakable. But after all, she thought icily, he did this all the time, talking to relatives, telling them he couldn't do anything. Her bitter feelings were probably showing, because Sam Carr cleared his voice and continued. **

**"Look, Max, I haven't forgotten about the transfusion incident last year. I know you care for him. You couldn't have known." He reached out to her and for a moment, just for one moment, Max drew strength from the hand on her shoulder.**

**Then she regained her composure, becoming the efficient little soldier again, as Logan would put it, she thought bitterly. **

**"What about the antidote, were you able to analyze it?"**

**His dejected look was answer enough. **

**"That was the only existent dose," she muttered. And then, shaking off all the feelings, which were creating havoc with her concentration, she asked, "Isn't he sleeping too much?"**

**"He should be up in an hour, but you might want to give him a few more minutes though."**

**"And you are sure it is safe?"**

**"Yes, you can be together as long as you do not touch him."**

**Max groused, "That's a tough one, Girl, when all you can think of is holding him." Did Carr even realize the irony in his words? Probably, he had just left with an encouraging pat on her shoulder. As the doctor departed towards the hospital reception area, Max sunk to her haunches, leaning on the corridor wall, debating with herself. As much as she wanted to see Logan, to beg his forgiveness, she couldn't summon the strength to go in, to look into his eyes knowing what their situation was. She had to think. The urge of riding her bike through the night to the Space Needle, alone with her poisonous self became unbearable. **

**The moment she gathered her strength to get up in spite of the pain in her limbs, she noticed a shadow furtively moving along the empty corridor towards her. Taking a better look in the dim hospital light, Max noticed the shadow belonged to a woman in a doctor's coat. There was nothing wrong with that, except that the woman looked quite battered and was limping, despite her efforts to move with a determined stride. Max decided to stay down and observe the figure that was checking out the names on the doors. **

**The woman had stopped, as if uncertain of her next move and then suddenly she opened a door and entered the room. Logan's room, Max realized with a pang. A split second later, Max barged in and grabbed the woman from behind. In her haste Max dared a hurried look towards the still sleeping Logan, and quickly dragged the befuddled woman out and into Carr's office next door. **

**Pushing the woman forward, Max closed the door and snapped at her, "What were you doing in Logan's room?"**

**For a moment the redhead struggled against Max's strong grip. Suddenly she kicked out, but that brought her instantly to the floor on her back with an angry Max glaring at her. **

**"Nothing," the intruder managed to croak, "I…was just looking for Dr. Carr's office."**

**"That was not an office, lady, try again!"**

**The answer was just a whisper. "I...I needed a diversion, needed to get to Sam unnoticed." **

**Max's grip on the woman loosened a bit at the mention of Sam, but her eyes were still trying to pierce the intruder, trying to determine her true purpose there. "My friend is nobody's diversion, lady!"**

**Max was trying to decide how much she could shake the woman without her falling apart as Sam came in. Looking at Max and at the woman, he gasped, "Dr. Brandis! Max, it's okay, I know her!"**

**"So, she is a doctor after all? That's good, 'cause she was messing around in Logan's room, and I was about to whack her really hard."**

**"Max, he's okay. I just checked on him."**

**"See? I told you, I just needed a diversion," Natalie spat at her. **

**In spite of a rather gentle approach as Max would term it, the auburn haired lady seemed quite shaken. And since Sam knew her, she must be okay.**

**"Natalie?" he started hesitantly taking in her disheveled state and the smudges of dirt and blood on her face. "What happened to you? Are you all right?" He looked concerned at first at her, than at Max. **

**"Natalie, this is Max, a friend of a friend. Max, meet Natalie, she is a geneticist." **

**Max realized that he must have left out their full names on purpose.**

**Natalie made a move to extend her hand, but as the girl stayed put in the far corner of the room, eyeing her with distrust, she gave up on her attempt at being cordial.**

**"Sam, I appreciate this polite small talk, but I really don't have the time. I need to talk to you. Alone," she added with a sharp look at Max. **

**But Max was already on her way out, determined to check on Logan before he woke up. **

**"What a tough one," Max mused closing the door. "Must be twice as old as I am, but still, she put up a good fight. Isn't her fault I'm a genetically engineered warrior machine," she grinned sheepishly to herself and sneaked in to check on Logan. **

**Carefully she pulled a chair next to his bed to look at him. She hadn't allowed herself many occasions to watch him in his sleep like this. Last time she had been alone with him in the hospital, she had found out for herself that he was more important to her than her own freedom, than anything. She had surprised herself that time. Since her escape from Manticore, she hadn't had the opportunity to really look at him. He seemed a bit haggard and worn out to her, the long hair unkempt, even for his standards, his brow furrowed in his sleep and the blond stubble looking harsher than usual. Careful not to touch his face or any other part of him for that matter, not even through the clothes, she looked at him with longing, yearning to wipe away the troubles mirrored in his face. **

**Leave it to Renfro and Manticore to strip away all notions of normality and emotion she might have deluded herself with. She was about to lower her cheek to his when she realized the enormity of the consequences. Suddenly she bolted to the window turning her back on Logan. The pain and the longing overwhelming her, Max ran out of Logan's room just as tears had begun to spill down her cheeks, thinking desperately how even those were poison to him.**

**Part three**

*******

**Peace! Stretching in his corner behind the dumpster he felt afraid for just a moment. Then he remembered the voice, the voice that had helped him overcome his loneliness, his pain. He couldn't hear it now. His mind had stopped singing to him like it had done before. But he remembered it. And there were images, more images and voices, not soothing ones like hers had been, disturbing ones, evil ones, cruel ones. They had left him for a while, had hidden deep inside him, but now that he was at peace, they were coming back. He welcomed them, good and bad. He had made peace with himself.**

*******

**Behind the white hospital curtain, Logan opened his eyes and crumpled the sheets in his fists. For a moment it had seemed real, Max so close to him, so vibrant he could feel her without touching. And then she had bolted, but he couldn't blame her for it. He needed a cure for the virus and needed it soon or they would both go mad with desire. Or Max might decide she had enough and leave him with the pain he had felt in the three months she had been dead for all he had known. He had thought that all of his sorrow would have been consumed during that time along with all the pain and the suicidal thoughts. He had thought that there could be nothing worse. **

**Remembering his reaction to Max' appearance in his penthouse and the look of longing on her face an unexplainable joy drove away all his self-pity. He smiled to himself. Yes, she was alive, that was all that counted. All the rest could be dealt with, as long as she was alive. There had to be a possibility for them to be together. There just had to be. Determination clenched Logan's jaw as he shook off the drowsiness and the aches in his body and set about to call Bling. Then, he should get up and talk to Dr. Carr before heading home to his huge rich, empty apartment. He couldn't count on Max being there, not after this -for her circumstances- open display of emotion.**

*******

**Natalie had calmly described her plight to Sam. Only her hands in her lap might have betrayed the anxiety plaguing her. But Sam was too surprised to notice. He believed her. Not that she had doubted him for a moment. After all, they had known each other for a long time, and he knew what the guys from Gentech were capable of. But she hadn't even thought about his reaction to her bringing up the Eyes Only issue, the fact that she needed help beyond what Sam could probably offer her. **

**So, she was relieved when he didn't try to deny anything and just said, "I'll talk to this informant I know, and he'll bring the story to Eyes Only. He might be able to help, but that is his decision, and it might take a while, he's been waging quite a little war on the gene manipulation lately. You haven't heard his broadcast today, have you?"**

**"Why, yes, Sam, that's what I've heard all day long," she quipped sarcastically.**

**"Well, I'll explain it to you in a minute, but first I need to check on a patient, I'll be right back." **

**With that Natalie was left alone as Sam rushed out the door.**

*******

**Logan was quite anxious to get out of his hospital room. He was fully dressed and looked haunted. He never gave Sam a chance to talk or to assess his condition, the words just poured out as soon as Sam appeared in the doorframe. "Sam, I need your help. Find me a geneticist to help me with a cure for this virus. There has to be something that can be done. All those I know can't really be trusted." While he hadn't told Sam more than the doctor needed to know, Logan still felt he could put his life in the hands of this Hippocratic servant. It was just not Sam's fault that Logan had so much trouble opening up. "How come it had been that easy with Max?" he suddenly asked himself. How come he was asking himself such a question when he knew how he felt for her. He hadn't said it out loud until now, but yes, he loved her. Too bad he had admitted it only now when it might be too late.**

**Logan's features were speaking of his determination and his eyes had just enough desperation in them to make Sam fear for his friend's power of reason. Logan was just about to go on when Sam stopped him.**

**"Well, before you continue, you might as well hear this. Next door is a friend of mine from the Henderson clinic. She got into some trouble with Gentech. She is hoping, well," he corrected, "we are hoping that Eyes Only could help her at least with the relocation." **

**For a moment, Logan was disoriented by the sudden change of focus. He blinked, and then closed his eyes for a few seconds. After Max had broadcasted the Manticore story today, he had thought about everything but Eyes Only. Between seeing Max again and almost dying, his attention span had focused on his own plight with the virus. He hadn't even tried to find out about the impact the Manticore story had had. But then, he managed to concentrate, and his eyes regained the hard, unyielding composure he hid himself behind. His red-blue and white Halloween mask was plastered over his face once again. His heart had been broken today, but Eyes Only could not wallow in misery, at least not today it seemed. **

** "Gentech, hmm? Ok, I'll see what I can do, but we need to find her a place to stay, this might take a while, considering the whole Manticore chaos. Do you have anything safe?"**

**"Not really, just my place, but it's not the safest."**

**"Then take her with you tonight, and I'll set up a meeting for tomorrow."**

**"You really think you could get out of here without a complete check up after the scare you gave me today?" Sam grinned and pushed him lightly towards the bed. **

**"Actually, yes", Logan cocked his head in mock concern.**

**"I see I have no chance, but let me see how you're holding up first." **

**While poking Logan thoroughly, Sam added: "I'll look for a geneticist to fit the bill, but you might want to approach Natalie, my friend, first. I can't guarantee that she will accept looking into the virus thing, but at least she is in the field. She could be better connected than I am. Maybe you could talk her into helping you."**

**Logan was surprised. Today must be one of those days where you can lose or gain everything. While the words "trouble with Gentech" and "need help" had registered, he hadn't realized that Sam's friend was a geneticist. He hadn't thought any further than finding a scientist yet. Might as well see if he did as well without a plan as Max did, he grinned to himself. **

**"Is she really trustworthy?"**

**"I've known her for a long time. For a while, we lost contact, but she's been around for the last what, 10 years. She's been through a lot but won't say a word about it, so tread carefully, but yes, I'd trust her with my darkest secrets."**

**That was good. But for now, Logan was just relieved to be out of the hospital and go crash at his place to think things over. **

*******

**Memories, the crux of his long life. He might have been better off with his head empty, his own feral needs singing to him. Now he remembered and sadness overwhelmed him. But he could not grieve. No, it was too late for that, they were all gone, all his friends, human or otherwise. Memories were all he had left, mostly bad, but also good ones, beautiful ones. His heart was so dulled it could not ache anymore. After all those years of trying to feel more than just his hunger he had finally lost his feeling, any feeling. He was left cold, stone cold, just like the walls of the city around him. Cold, forsaken, forgotten. But not empty. Not alone. He still had his memories, could still feel through them, and remember what it was like to feel bad, but also good things.**

*******

**Sitting in front of his computer, Logan was puzzled. His fingers attacked the keyboard with fierceness. He had a little search routine running on Natalie Brandis. He trusted Sam, but he would never repeat the mistake he had mad in the Blonck case, endangering Max because he hadn't researched a story thoroughly enough. The results of his search were quite peculiar and elicited a frown from him. He had been interested in the college studies of the future Dr. Brandis. Bleep. No records. Yes, there was a paper trail that at some point got lost in the Pulse only to reappear years later. But Logan had been hacking computers for too long not to recognize a false trail when he saw one. He had made a few calls to alleged acquaintances of Natalie Brandis before 2005. Nothing. She had married just before the pulse but before that - nada. Those who were supposed to know her did not. **

**He started again, determined to get to the bottom of this. Sam had mentioned secrets. Well, he could not let those secrets get in the way. The keyboard started clicking as if there had been an ant stampede over it. Logan expanded his search to Canada, and there he struck gold or rather pay dirt as he accessed first the Toronto P. D., and then the coroner's office's respective databases. Police records, American as well as Canadian that established that Natalie Brandis was the same person as Natalie Lambert. He had no problem with that, after all many had changed their names. The only problem with that was that Dr. Lambert, Toronto coroner, had died under mysterious circumstances years ago. **

**It hadn't been easy to establish the connection from Brandis to Lambert, especially since many of the usual documents seemed to have been lost in the Pulse, but there had been some scientific articles published along with her picture. The picture was the same in both cases. Logan cocked his head unknowingly as he compared the two pictures he had brought up on his screen. Natalie Lambert seemed a happy person, had a bright spark in her eyes, while Natalie Brandis, just a few years later... hmm... the difference could not be overseen. Well, he had secrets too, who hadn't these days. At least, he had a starting point. Now all he hoped was that she would be honest. That was all that counted for him. That and a happy resolution to his situation with Max.**

*******

**Talking over a cup of coffee and a glass of wine had never hurt anyone. She had told Logan the whole story, well; almost all of it as far as it concerned him, regarding her involvement with Gentech. He had promised the help of Eyes Only and professed to need more information. While the young man in the wheelchair - the handsome blond from the hospital Max had protected so fiercely, she suddenly realized- was very well mannered and even nice to speak to, he was holding back something and had just started to ask pointed questions that came way too close to the truth for Natalie's liking. She was beginning to squirm in her chair, trying to decide what to do under these circumstances when the conversation suddenly changed direction and he came back to her predicament with Gentech.**

**"Dr. Brandis, have you ever heard of project Manticore?" His piercing blue eyes seemed to nail her to the wall. **

**Yes, she had. Moreover, Sam had brought her up to date with the newest developments regarding the broadcasts of Eyes Only in that direction. A lot of the data she had gathered in the past two months had led her to believe that Gentech and Manticore were related, in fact so much related that they had recently started to swap information and projects and to work together to face the South African concurrence. Manticore was using Gentech as a beautiful cover story. Unfortunately, she had no proof of that fact. That was the problem Eyes Only needed to tackle.**

**Natalie would relocate -the use of that word had startled her - and begin anew. Logan had everything covered. Eyes Only would have to get the files Natalie had partial access to and hope they would find some more that could be hacked into. If all went well, Eyes Only would be able to expose the link between Gentech and Manticore and deal another blow to the newly reorganized monster project. **

* * *

**Part four**

*******

**There were many good memories. Toronto. Thump. His heart chose that moment to beat once, startling him. There was also the longhaired soldier girl who had let him out of his cell, not before giving him a reassuring, fearless smile. It had been a long while since someone had smiled at him like that. His hunger had been nagging him then, but somehow the only thing he had seen in that girl had been an equal, a predator freeing its fellow prisoners. She had disappeared, leaving behind the sneaking tendrils of darkness and hunger that had enveloped him soon after and just as they did now. Hunger. Gathering his limbs together he tried to take off, away from the wet pavement of the unfamiliar city. He crumpled back into a heap as soon as he had managed to prop himself against the wall. The clear night sky beckoned to him. He knew all reason would fade away from him if he could not get a drink, then the darkness would come again. With a huge effort, he stood and moved forward onto the street, limping, leaning on walls or cars from time to time, in search for the only thing that could help him retain the brief moments of sanity and the happy memories that came with them: blood.**

*******

**The sharp wind had blown away all the warmth lingering in her body at the thought of Logan's blue eyes. She needed to concentrate on her mission tonight and yet she could not help but remember Cindy's words. After her visit to the hospital, Max had gone to bunk in with Original Cindy and had had a long talk with her old friend, calming down. She was still desperate and heart broken, but at least she now was over the toughest part of it.**

**"Well, Boo, Original Cindy can't tell you nothing more than that: you have to believe that you will find a way. And you will find one. Little rich boy is smitten, too, so my girl's not alone. You can make it together, Girl, stop running away. You're home now, Boo, in your crib where you' re loved."**

**Original Cindy's talk almost had Max convinced. Logan had paged her repeatedly but she had refused to answer. She just couldn't. Not yet. He had talked to Cindy and she had promised him to send his girl right over when she's ready." Only then had he stopped calling. **

**A few plates of Pasta Tricolore and some tears later, her friend had started anew:**

**"Max, Sugar, why don't you go visit Rich Boy?" she had prodded. "He's getting desperate and Original Cindy ain't gonna be held responsible for what the young smitten one could do if you don't show up and show him some love, Girl." **

**This time, Max had managed a crooked grin. "Okay, I'm going."**

**"Not just going, Boo," Cindy had insisted. "You gotta show the boy that you feel for him, too, that he ain't alone. Rich boy's got me worried, ya know, the last few months."**

**And with that, Max had left for Logan's penthouse.**

**Since then, things had gotten a semblance of normality, as much as there could be one. They were still seeing each other; she was still doing some of his legwork, even if he didn't really need it.**

**Tonight, she was riding her bike, letting the wind caress her face - sweet of Logan - he had kept her baby well, full tank and everything. But tonight, she was not alone and not on a joy ride either. Dr. Brandis was sitting behind her, and they were staking out the lab where she used to work. **

*******

**He had stopped to rest a moment before giving another try at taking off. Slumping down in a corner he suddenly noticed the thin tha- thumps approaching. He had frozen in place waiting to see what was coming his way. The sight elicited a small crinkle in the corner of his lips as he heard another voice of his past in his head:_ "_Wanna haf one, Mate? Jus yeas for the takin. Juicy, too" it taunted him. "Gab it, Mate, cortsy of yer old pal." The two tiny bodies scurrying past him unwittingly would have to do for the moment. None even had the time to squeak as they were drained of the precious liquid. **

*******

**Natalie was supposed to have been long gone into hiding by now. Considering the fright of almost being kidnapped, she couldn't explain it even to herself that she was now riding a bike next to Max, the one who had almost killed her a few days ago. The wind blew against them, the current making Natalie even more tense than she had already been. The girl in front of her had put on an uncanny speed, and even though Natalie couldn't see her face, she was certain of what could be seen there: cold, emotionless determination, the focus of a soldier on its mission. **

**Natalie had been suspicious when she had heard that Max was doing errands for Eyes Only. By now, she had begun to understand a little more about the person in front of her. A slow smirk crept on Natalie's face, unseen in the darkness around them. She had watched Max around Logan and had noticed the tension both were subject to when the other was around. Adding to that Max's reaction to her entry in Logan's room and Logan's words this evening as they had left the penthouse - a tentative, barely whispered "Be careful" - Natalie had reached her own conclusion. For a second, she had been painfully reminded of her own past, but she had brushed that quickly away. She was actually slowly turning into Myra the matchmaker! **

**For some reason, she had begun to feel awfully protective of the two young ones as she thought of them. She chuckled lightly. She'd do her best to help, after all, even if they would never acknowledge it, they were quite forlorn, left alone with their problems.**

**Natalie exhaled in relief. Passing the sector police had been a piece of cake. Having connections to Eyes Only definitely had its advantages, she mused. **

*******

**He grimaced at the bad taste lingering on his tongue. He had had shakes that had tasted better. He was definitely not peachy. Under the grime on his face, his muscles twitched at the memory, and he let out a small howl of pain. No time for that, though, or else even worse would follow. Surveying the dark city, he looked for light clusters, movement, a hospital would be his best bet now, provided he hadn't lost his touch and could sneak in unnoticed. A few times, he dove towards promising targets, without success, though. The city was too well lit and guarded, too many people, not the right building. He needed to head for the periphery; the repeated ups and downs were beginning to take their toll on his strength. Considering how well guarded the downtown hospitals had been, he intended to look for something smaller, less frequented. And sure enough, there it was. Two red crossed vans outside, the pungent medicine smell, and accessible roof, poorly lit. Judging by the alluring thumps inside, only a few guards. **

*******

**A whispered voice distracted the mighty Logan Cale from the blueprints on his screen. His headpiece resonated again before he could answer. This time it was fainter, as if only to reassure itself: "Logan?" He hurried to respond without giving away his anxiety. "I'm here, Max."**

**"Just checking on you, Sleeping Beauty," she quipped, making him smile in spite of the tension. **

**But then, he couldn't keep himself and he exploded, "Where are you, Max?"**

**There was no time for her to respond, as he went on: "I've been worrying my ass off! You should have checked in after having passed the sector police!"**

**"At least you wouldn't feel it if it suddenly went missing," he imagined Max snapping at him and he chuckled. But she was calm, her voice soft and reassuring: "Just left there Logan, target in sight, right on schedule."**

**They had arrived. Quietly, they had settled in the darkness, waiting with predatory patience for the shift to change. Natalie needed to tackle the guards she knew best, the night shift.**

**Meddling had brought Natalie into trouble before. Like the time she had offered her help out of pure "scientific interest." This time, Max had been asking about security devices around the lab compound they were going to break into tonight. And Natalie had not been able to help herself insisting that she could keep the guards talking so that Max could slip in unseen. They were probably looking for her as well; it had been three days since she hadn't shown up for work. **

**Natalie forced herself to focus. There was another reason she wanted to go back, beside helping Max and Logan and busting Gentech. Her work for the past two months had gone more than a little beyond the call of duty. She had come across some interesting DNA material in the gene pool at Henderson and had used it to try out a few things. "Darn it, Lambert, why don't you just admit to yourself that you've gone nuts!" she berated herself. Messing with DNA that had a striking resemblance to the samples she had taken from Nick a long time ago and all that while that pesky, over- caffeinated assistant of hers, Angela, was pestering her with questions and commenting on how hard she was working all of a sudden. The genetic material might not have been a very close match, but there had been enough resemblance there to have her puzzle over it and go into the "scientific curiosity" modus. Right, and curiosity killed the cat. Why had she even tried to do it was beyond her comprehension. Was it because of her failure with Nick? Guilt? Atonement? Yeah, it had taken her only twenty years to get bitten by the same bug that had plagued Nick. He would have laughed his head off. The answer to her own questions eluded her. Suffice it to say, she had set her mind on it. And that's why she had tried so hard to convince Max to go along. Considering what Eyes Only had planned she needed to salvage what she could before moving on. But that was no concern of Eyes Only. It was her own past she battled.**

*******

**Sitting in the dark was a welcome sensation for Max. She should have been bothered by the need to take a civilian with her and--let's face it--sharing the quiet darkness she had come to call her own. She wouldn't have minded sharing with Logan, though... But the woman behind her had not bothered her in any way yet. There was even a kind of companionable silence between them. But that was now over. The new guards were coming in. **

*******

**Max had let Natalie go in first, waiting for her to involve the guards into a conversation. After the 2 minutes they had previously agreed upon, Max elegantly landed on the wall ledge, 3 meters above the entrance. She was in the research wing of the building, empty at night, so that she didn't need to worry about patients seeing her. Cautiously feeling her way around the corner, Max was about to continue her way up to the roof, the best entrance point as she had agreed with Logan, when a sound startled her. It was metal upon metal and some glass shattering, but then all was silent. Max went on, making a note to check on her way out. Once on the roof, though, the state of the air hatch she was supposed to use made her call on Logan. **

**She whispered for his ears only, "Logan, it looks like someone just broke in a few minutes before me. I'm still going in." Silently, she perused the broken window, brushed aside the glass shards and slipped in. **

**'Careful, Max' was the only answer she received, the right one, as she quietly smiled to herself. **

**There were no guards on the corridors, and Natalie had provided an access card to the lab area. As long as they hadn't shut her out in the three days she had been missing... Max was relieved when the door opened, and no alarm sounded. As she busied herself with the computer looking for the files Eyes Only needed, she concentrated on Logan's whispered indications and the silence of the corridor behind her, wasting no thought on the alleged intruder. Natalie was with the guard downstairs and anyone coming her way could be only an enemy.**

*******

**Natalie's plan had worked up to this point. It was quite a risk she was taking as everything was timed, and any deviance could turn out deadly for real. But there was no way she could let Logan or Max in on her plans. She had to risk it. She had convinced the guards downstairs to let her in rather easily. Now, she was just entering her own office to retrieve the evidence of her research when in the dim light coming from the corridor, she faced the barrel of a handgun.**

*******

**It had taken a while to get into the offices unnoticed in his attempt to find the supply and storage room. Then, the rummaging on the lookout for the fridge where the blood pouches would be, but finally he had made it. Trembling, eyes ablaze, he swallowed greedily, loosing little thought over the mess he made around. Five empty, bloody plastic shells later, he stopped and wiped his chin, pocketing another pouch. No, he was not ashamed, but not elated either; just relieved he had made it in time before loosing himself in the darkness of the hunger again. He could think somewhat more clearly again after what had seemed to him an eternity of hunger and torment. **

**Concentrating on his surroundings he was about to attempt a quick clean up - as much as the blood was concerned - when he realized that he could hear voices on the same floor: a few of them actually. Some whispered, some tense and angry. Quickly stuffing the empty pouches into the biohazard bin, he crept out of the storage room, trying to assess his situation. Had anybody heard his rummaging? The whispers were accompanied by the silent clicking of a keyboard, barely to be heard even by him. No, the other direction posed more of a threat. Deciding he had stayed in long enough, he opened the unsecured window of the storage room and flew out. At least that way, an inattentive observer could blame what little mess he had left inside on the wind. **

*******

**"So, Dr. Brandis, you wanted to tuck your research in tonight, didn't you?" Angela's face had lost all of the compassion it had ever shown and was radiating anger. "Made me wait three days, too." Natalie had frozen in her tracks, the door slowly sliding shut behind her. Heart pounding, she was unable to move. Not that Angela would have permitted such a thing, anyway. **

*******

**Max finished loading the data, shut down the computer, and proceeded to the next step in their plan. She had placed the explosives and the evidence they had prepared beforehand and was now heading to the roof to check out the supposed burglar. That was when she found the open window. She looked down and concluded that whoever it had been, he was out. Another quick search of the upper floor gave no other results. "All clear, Logan, I'm on my way out." They had grudgingly agreed that Natalie needed to disappear permanently, or else she would be hounded down relentlessly. It had been Natalie's idea to stage her death. Logan had looked quite annoyed at her, as if he had some misgivings, but even though both Max and he had remembered Nathan Herrero, they hoped Natalie wouldn't have the same bad luck. Max checked her watch. Five more seconds, and there would be a small explosion outside, attracting the guards out. Max retreated the way she came.**

*******

**Natalie's assistant moved backwards a few steps and motioned with the gun for her to move into the room. She patted the table attracting Natalie's attention to the now disheveled pile of notes there. Frantic, Natalie moved forward a step. **

**"Stop right there!" Angela ordered, aiming the gun. "Mr. White said you would be poking around like a nosy little bitch, but what you found out, well," she grinned widely with an ironical wink at her victim, "let's just say you made my day."**

**Natalie started to argue with her, in the hope Max could hear what was going on and come to her rescue, but Angela raised her gun and activated the silencer on it.**

**Part five**

*******

**He had been unable to curtail his curiosity and headed for the window where he could hear the voices. Two hearts thumping alluringly. There was something familiar, beckoning to him. The voices had suddenly stopped. He was now hovering in front of the window, listening in.**

**"To think Gentech went through all that trouble to hire you, and you were on it from the beginning." As Angela grabbed the pile of notes and moved towards the exit, Natalie searched the darkness for an object she could throw towards her assailant. "You saved us a lot of trouble, Natalie. Say nightie night, now." **

**The flash of recognition had hit him the moment everything around him exploded in a bright light. He was thrown out of balance and eventually fell when one of the caryatides on top of the building tumbled down towards him.**

*******

**Max was pacing. Natalie had been supposed to escape the attention of the guards and let them believe she had gone into the building. When the guards would be out, there would be several explosions inside, a fire and Natalie's "body" would be found in the morning, unrecognizable except for her ID card. There were quite a few holes in the plan they had hurriedly put together but that was all they could do on such short notice. And there was Matt Sung, the detective, too, who had promised to back them up. Max was supposed to make sure no one got hurt. "Easy job, Logan," she muttered, cursing under her breath. Except for the fact that Natalie was not at the meeting point. And inside, the thunder-like noise heralded the second series of explosions.**

*******

**Natalie had been expecting the explosion. When Angela whirled around and stumbled, Natalie's first thought was to get the gun. But Angela was too far away, so she did the only thing she could: she ducked and crawled towards the door. Soon the explosions inside would go off. This floor would be only slightly affected if everything went according to plan, accordingly Natalie didn't waste much thought on Angela. She only thought of Max, who by now was probably worrying that she had not reached the meeting point. Yes, and there was the slight matter of her papers that had flown through the room when Angela had fallen down. Not even the slightest chance of picking them up. Natalie cursed for the first time in years.**

**As she ran down the corridor to find the rope ladder Max had left for her, the building shook with loud explosions never letting her hear the inhuman roar of rage and despair behind her.**

*******

**For the umpteenth time since he had first met Max, Logan wished he could pace the wooden floor of his penthouse. Rolling over it just didn't bring the same release. He had been confined to the house since Max needed the superior processor power of his desktop computer to hack the passwords. Now, he berated himself once more for accepting Natalie's idea. It had made him suspicious, and he had waited for a chance to test her before approaching her with his offer. This had seemed the ideal opportunity. But now, since he knew that Natalie hadn't shown up at the meeting point, the worst thoughts crossed his mind. **

*******

**The police were already in front of the building, together with several onlookers as always, an ambulance had just arrived and the loud voices of the firemen yelled over the chaos when Max, who had been about to storm the building herself in search of Natalie, finally glimpsed the object of her worry sneaking to the meeting place. Max breathed in deeply, preparing a long tirade of selected vocabulary addressed at her charge when she was suddenly interrupted by the yells of the doctors and police carrying an body out. **

**Max swore, looking Natalie over. "What happened?"**

**"My tech assistant, Angela Barnes, had a sudden urge to see me dead or handed over to Gentech. She should be okay, though," Natalie frowned, "I was the one who barely got away."**

**"You surely look like it, lady, let's give Logan the 411, he's probably sprouted legs to pace around by now." Max dragged her into her dark corner and let her talk to Logan on the cell while she observed the hullabaloo around the clinic. The fire was still raging and for a while, Max feared that it would extend to the other wing of the building. They had planned the explosions well, however and the fire was contained after a few hours. Logan had come to pick Natalie up, leaving Max behind, who had wanted to stay for a little while more, at least until they found the body.**

*******

**Logan's Aztek felt like Heaven itself to Natalie. After the adrenaline rush, she was now slumped in her chair and had a difficult time keeping her eyes open. She noticed that Logan was silently eyeing her over as if trying to decide whether he should speak or forever hold his tongue. He might have been cute, but she wasn't in the mood for it. **

**"What ?!" she snapped.**

**Logan opened the board hatch and handed her a new ID, a sector pass and a plane ticket. Then, he took an envelope and handed it to her as well. "It isn't much, but it might help to get you started."**

**Natalie started to protest or at least thank him, but he raised his hand and stopped her with an icy look. The moment of silence weighed heavily on Natalie. What could he want? **

*******

**Max was starting to lose her patience. The fire had been extinguished, and she was still there, acting like she had to earn her degree in mass psychology. Natalie had been declared missing by the guards and the search went on and on and on. "Come on guys, a girl's gotta catch some sleep once a week!" she griped, starting to feel cranky. **

**She had noticed a ragged, unkempt figure among the trees in front of the clinic, silently observing the crowd, but she kept her distance. She wasn't responsible for all the catastrophe eager bums on the streets of Seattle. Now, if he were one of Lydecker goons, well yes, that was an entirely different matter, she smiled. **

**She snapped to attention, as there seemed to be some sort of commotion at the entrance. "They found Dr. Brandis!" Two firemen were coming out, carrying a covered body. **

**As agreed, detective Matt Sung was there, receiving the identification tag of the victim. "Yes, this was Dr. Natalie Brandis" he indicated, lifting the cover for barely a split second. Then turning away, he motioned for the orderlies to carry the body to the coroner's van. Max sighed. Mission accomplished, Thumbs up for Eyes Only. **

**She had barely put her helm on to jet away into the night when for a few seconds, a heart rending howl - or was it a scream?--sliced the silence of the place. She whirled around to identify the source, somewhere between the trees, but it had already stopped. The bum who had been there moments ago had vanished. Whatever. Max revved up her baby and disappeared into the night, glad to just go and crash at her crib.**

*******

**Logan's blue eyes had locked with hers as they had stopped in front of the safe house. Deep blue, usually warm and compassionate eyes, now impassive. They reminded her of something. Nick ? No, something else. **

**But he interrupted her train of thought, "Dr. Brandis is now officially dead. You can make a new start now. But I'm still curious." He seemed to decide that surprise was the best course of action and hit the jackpot with the question he uttered almost with delight, "Dr. Lambert, why is Gentech really after you?" In response to her stunned silence, he dropped the rest of the bomb, "Does it have anything to do with your research in Toronto ?" **

**Logan smirked slightly as he saw that the second part had been right on target as well. It had been a shot into the blue, just a hunch, nothing he had found in the hacked files. Still, it had hit home. **

**The woman was flabbergasted. **

**Seeing her close her eyes, Logan berated himself for doing this in the car of all places. After all he was alone with her and she wasn't old enough to be unable to scratch his eyes out or the like if the fancy struck her.**

**Natalie had tried to be patient, but this question topped it all. In her opinion, this had nothing to do with Gentech or Eyes Only. The new rush of adrenaline let her physically feel her own thoughts clicking into place. She slowly, seductively turned to him and looked in his eyes when she oh so sweetly replied, ""So, Logan, you're not just Eyes Only, you have brains, too." With that she stormed out of the car and into the cabin, leaving Logan alone in his Aztek. **

**"Yeah, 'Ass Only', she should have said," he thought, hurriedly getting out of the car. At least she hadn't locked the door. Maybe he still had a chance.**

**She was facing the fireplace, her back to him.**

**He stopped in the doorway, as if afraid she would feel cornered. Sensing that the woman in front of him could not be more angered than now, Logan decided on a change of plan: **

**"Natalie, the reason I brought that out was that I need your help."**

**Silence. He would never know if it had been his calm, even voice or something else that made her turn around and unleash her wrath on him. She was fierce, but at least she was talking, it occurred to him. "Mr. Cale, I will not deny it, I was Natalie Lambert as you already seem to know. But I reserve myself the right to forbid any further intrusion into my private life." **

**Her eyes ablaze, the words were coming out like stones raining upon him. He had wanted to get her attention before entrusting her with his deepest secrets but he seemed to have opened a hornets' nest. She continued, pacing, some of her anger spent already, "Not even I have the answers you are searching for. There are still many pieces missing in my past, and I don't appreciate it being prodded for my deepest feelings. And I am sure you don't, either."**

**Logan dared to close the door behind him, but remained at a distance, his embarrassment plainly evident on his face. At the guilty look in his blue eyes and the sheepish grin he was trying to apologize with, all of Natalie's anger dissipated into nothingness. With a pang in her heart she tried to chase Nick's memory away and to concentrate on the task at hand.**

**On a lighter tone, she asked, "Well, what is it that you need help for?"**

**His head came up, and she could see relief wash over him. He started, treading carefully, with the short variant. "Natalie, you have been around Max and me the last few days. I'll make it short. As a result of our standoffs with Manticore and Gentech, Max now carries a deadly, genetically tailored retrovirus, a virus that only I am susceptible to. It can be transmitted through the most coincidental contact. I don't have to tell you that I care a lot for Max, and that this situation drives us both mad. Natalie," he pleaded, "Please help us find a cure."**

**Nothing could have prepared Logan for the look he now saw on Natalie's face. She was flabbergasted, that much was clear, though it couldn't have been just the news he had given her. There was something else, too. Apart from the surprise, he thought he read intense pain and sorrow, but also compassion and tenderness. What was going on? The silence was as thick as brick, and Dr. Lambert had barely managed to press her open lips together so she wouldn't look like a complete moron for the second time this evening. **

**Logan hurried to explain. "I can see you are surprised, and I can't promise it wouldn' t be dangerous, but it really is our only hope of ever being together. I've waited so long because I wanted to make sure you know that you are under no obligation to help us. What we did today, we would at any time, without expecting anything in return. We wanted to help. That's why Eyes Only is around. And of course, we have our own little war against Manticore and now against Gentech, too. But this, this is our own personal hell, and you have just been invited to step in."**

**Natalie got a grip on herself. She settled comfortably in the armchair. This was going to be a long night. "Why don't you come closer, I don't bite." She shivered. "We should get that fire going, it's getting chilly in here." She watched him use his exoskeleton to get up and felt ashamed for bossing him around. But tonight, there was no place for niceties, only for the truth. Well at least part of it she thought, smiling to herself. As he was busy with the fireplace, she rose to get themselves two cups of hot chocolate. Logan might be a man, and a yummy one at that, but hot chocolate was a rarity these days, and it had never hurt anyone.**

**She stretched in her chair and looked impishly at the seated man in front of her. **

  
 

Part six  
  
***  
  
The man stumbled forward on the streets of Seattle, mumbling to himself words that only he could understand. He was talking to the images in his mind, recounting his memories, smiling here, sobbing there. If people had listened, some may even have understood a few of the old French words. But nobody heeded him. Behind the space needle the shadows of the night were slowly dissipated by the bright orange of morning. The man looked at the Space Needle, then around. His look had become haunted, as if he was looking for a hole to hide into, a rock underneath he could crawl and stay buried under for centuries. But all he could find within walking distance was the old compound of Bellevue, before the pulse a psychiatric rehab center, now just an asylum for the lost of this world. He entered the building with long strides just as the sun went up.  
  
***  
  
Natalie shifted in her armchair. It would be morning in a few minutes. The shock of the last few days would probably take a long time to heal, especially since the aftermath had affected her deeply. Logan was quiet now, probably thinking about Max or anything else while Natalie tried to get some order in the chaos of her emotions.  
  
So this is why she finally had turned to research in the field of genetics. So that 20 years later, a blond young man would come to her and beg her to cure him and his friend from a mutated virus that prevented them from being together.  
  
Almost hysterically, Natalie chuckled, "This must be something in my stars, must be destiny engraved on my forehead."  
  
She liked Logan. He was principled and straightforward, helping where he could, almost in atonement for something. One man trying to fix the broken world, turn back the wheel of time, blaming himself when he did not succeed. And his own personal happiness had been lost someplace on the road amidst the broken pieces.  
  
And the girl, Max, a product of this mad world, a genetically engineered killing machine, as Logan fondly called her. She had inspired respect; Max loved him for all she had seen, from the distance, admiring him, aspiring for that which he stood for. Like the sun and the moon, forever doomed to chase after the other.  
  
So here she was again, starting from scratch. Only this time, it was for the sake of two lovely young people with their heart in the right place.  
  
"I wish you would see me now, Nick. Ah, LaCroix would have a laughing fit." Slowly, she returned to the present.  
  
Clearing her voice she whispered, "Yes, it must be my destiny, indeed."  
  
And louder: "You don't know what you are asking of me, Logan."  
  
Then, she stood up, walking to the fireplace.  
  
"I'll try my best to help." She turned to face him, her old energetic self again.  
  
"But first, let me fill in a few blanks for you. As you have found out, I have a very troubled past and it wouldn't do for it to resurface now. I haven't done anything wrong, if that might be of concern to you."  
  
Well, at least not on purpose, she winced to herself before continuing.  
  
"If problems should arise from that area I might need your help without me having to answer too many questions. Can you accept that?"  
  
As he nodded, she went on pacing. This was the delicate part.  
  
"To be honest, I feel it is necessary to warn you." She sighed and settled back in her chair. She made sure she had Logan's undivided attention and leaned forward, looking at the man in front of her, starting to speak, slowly and painfully at first.  
  
"Years ago, I spent a lot of time trying to cure someone of another mutated virus. No, it was not the same thing," she hurried to add at his concerned startle.  
  
"But, I failed, miserably so. That's why I reacted so strongly to your proposal. It reminded me of something I thought I had left behind. There were many reasons why I failed, but foremost was that I lacked the full cooperation of the party involved. Thus, we come to my request." She paused for a moment and caught his gaze.  
  
"Should you decide to take me up on my offer, I would need your full trust and cooperation. No secrets. What do you say?"  
  
Logan was taken aback. She said she had tried something like this once and failed. However, she said it had been a different type of ailment altogether. Who knows, maybe that particular case did not have a cure. And she had been honest, at least regarding the parts that involved him and Max.  
  
What the hell was he doing, beating around the bush? He was desperate.  
  
"Yes, Natalie, and I need to thank you for your honesty. I appreciate any help you can provide for Max and me." It couldn't have been easy for her to spill out her past failures like that.  
  
With that, Natalie finally gave in to her urge to run and hide to think about the newest developments. She slowly rose from her chair, heading for the door. "I might still regret this," she realized with a pang in her heart, but she had known, deep inside, that she, too, had needed to work for a good cause after all that time, to atone for her previous failure.  
  
Genetics had not been as rewarding as her former work for the coroner's office. That could change now. It would be just what she needed to get her life back, a happy one, with serious reasons to wake up in the morning.  
  
"I'll do it for me, for Nick, I'll do it," she thought. "No, make that for Logan and Max, they deserve that."  
  
Turning back to him, she instructed, "I'll contact you with a list of equipment I'll need. And I also need to talk to Max about this."  
  
She stopped on her way out, as if on a hunch. Her voice suddenly became menacing.  
  
"Logan, you have talked this over with her, haven't you ?"  
  
Seeing the look on his face she mumbled something to herself, exasperated and then, half yelled half laughed at him:  
  
"So, what are you waiting for? Go see her, or you'll need a new surname when she scratches your eyes out!"  
  
Before Logan could answer, she was out the door, rushing into the woods around the cabin.  
  
"Weird," Logan mused, pondering how in the end there had been a glimmer of hope on her face. Hope. For redemption? Whatever it had been, it promised a new goal to live for…for them all.  
  
THE END 

**Sequel in the works**


End file.
